Newspaper of Bedford Gazette, August 3, 1860, Page 1

Newspaper of Bedford Gazette dated August 3, 1860 Page 1
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vom ni; 57. NEW SERIES. fS'HE BEDFORD GAZETTE - is FUBLISHR.R. EVERY FRIDAY MORNING : 15V B. F niBIERS At the follflvrjiig terms, to wit: c; SO uer a"R ntn ' CASH, in advance. §2.00 " " if paid within the year, j-o'so " " >' " ot P 3 ' 1 * w ' t^, ' n l^e Var subscription taken lor less than six months. "ip-Na paper discontinued until all arrearages are ■ t i un ipc at the option of the publisher. ,t hae Veen decided by the lotted States Courts that ths stoppage ot a newspaper without toe payment ol ar r enrages, is r ,ma fa> i> - evidence ol iraud and is a rnminhi offcnc£ ■ courts have decided that persons are ac eponfable for .he subscription price of newspapers, , tney rake ibem from tue post olfice,whether 'hey - ' -r, be lor thern. or not. ?JiUicnl Songs. Fin™, the Pittsburgh i'ot. '•THE DOUGlaft.i IS COMING.'' A:B— "THE CAMPUELLS ARE " A POPULAR SONG DEDICATED TO rim j < IfMUX GI.EECLUB." i he Doughi. is coming, make way, make way, I'tie Douglas is coining, make way, make way. He has stiuck up the tune that we're going to play. ! Pi? tl.e new "Hail Columbia," mai;e way, make j way. Then fling your banner to tbe'wind. Leave feuds and discords far behind — ! his constellation flag shall be Our ontiauie ot victory. For Douglas is coming, make way, make.way, For Douglas is coming, make way, make way. Oh, please Mr. Lincoln get out of the way— Best "ride rail" to Boston, make ".ay, make way. Tread piotl'Uy for we carry here Tbe noblest flag that floats in atr, And well we know the truth to be, .lust luws alone make liberty. And we're going to have them, make way, make way, And we're going to have them, make way, make j way, 't he Douglas is h'rc, so get out of the way. You'd best go to Boston, make wav, make way. No North, no South, no East, no West, Cur own wide land— the loved—the best— Sbame to the traifoi who would sever Our Union—may it last for ever. And Dougias will save it, make way, make way. And Douglas will save it, make way, make way, Tis he bears our flag, and he'lt show us the way, And we're all for the Union, make way, make way. DEMOCRATIC FLAG. Fling out our flag from the gallant mast— Let the hout of the crew be heard, While he barque that rides is flying fast. O'er the sea like a mountain bird ' Let it re,t on the breast ot the glorious sun, When the sky grows cairn at noon And on let it float when the day is done, ii. the sheen of the silver moon. For it breathes a calm in that tender light Through the ssyward sailor's eye, While sne looks on P-ace she ue.Tles bright 'Mid the stais and the stripes on high j lr speaks to the heart of his mountain home, Where in quiet it long shall wave, And knows his sons are free, if they roam— if dead, in a freemen's grav?. I.el s'ray tb"ough the r-ght. on that lofty spire, And :alk with the midnight star— lor the heave ,s will glow with a warmer fire, j i'a gace on its face afar ; They hail it a light a- kindreds alt Long sen' fiom the par°nt sky, To laugh in scorn o'er the tyrant's fall And beam w hen the tyrants die. Let it float till the last great day of time, And piouJ o'er a falling world, ! -r up in its own congenial clime, Triumphant hang'ui.farled ; And when This fair earth shall no more be given, | 1 or the home of its stars so bright, .•lay they turn in love to their native heaven, And dwell n eternal light. political. SPEECH or THE HON. JAMES MEL : DELIVERED BEFORE THE Douglas Hub of fbainbersbiirg:, I'a., July 7, 1860. When I went to Charleston as a delegate, notwithstanding I was a friend of Mr. Douglas, and desired his nomination, it was my intention to support in good faith, as a party man, any other gentieman who might be selected as our standard-bearer. It we could not nominate Hooplas, and any other was earned over him, I meant *o cordially aud earnestly give such nominee my advocacy. I considered it my du ty to spar* no Itonorable exertion to promote Ins • ifclion. Ihe friends ol Douglas did not con- Mime lime by motions and schemes that had for iheir object delay and distraction. They never countenanced secession or disunion. They pave no aid or encouragement to such traitor ous projects. At Charleston, after having suc cessfully gone through ail the devices that their opponents could suggest, they, in a (ull Conven tion, by a majority ol 28 cariied the Cincinnati platform with some modifications. This embra ced their principles. Until this platform was carried there nothing was said in favor of se eding. But immediately after, Mr. Yancey, behnlf of the Alabama delegation, arose and 'ated that he was under instructions, if he could not carry his platform, protecting siave ry in the Territories, to secede from the Con tention. He marie a long speech advocating | ami urging his own peculiar views, and the o- i them belonging to Ins delegation withdrew. , I his was in substance saying to the majority of the Convention, "if we the minority, cannot rule you, we will do what we can to ruin the party." In common with a large majority of the body I felt tfiat J could never submit to the i dictation of such a rriinoiitv : that we would be recreant to our duty to ourselves if we did not 1 maintain our rigfits. But I had other grounds | than these. The platform reported by the mi nority of the committee and adopted bv tlie j Convention corresponded in principle with the • resolutions adopted at the Reading Convention at which the national delegates for Pennsylva nia were appointed. The friends of Douglas j from this >tale weje happily in a condition to j to be able to support the sentiments ot then own Convention. If several of our colleagues who opposed Douglas had sustained the Conven tion thai appointed them, lliere would have be, n less t n u de. 1 here was one evil that stood out in the clear , est character, and that was the wrong done to she Democracy by having office holders in the f onveutJon. In my judgment, no man who holds office should ever be a delegate to such a body.— Willi th-m, with a few honorable ex- I ceptions, a love of .salary has more influence , than a love of country. Fearing that 'hey will ! lose th-ir places and the corrupt stealings con > necled therewith, renders them unfit to have a judgment of Wieirdwn.— They seem to be ccn- I trolled bv some other power than that of tile people. Never was the saying of an eminent < poet in regard to place-men tnore fuilv verified I (ban at Charleston and Baltimore. It is. j " Deprive them of their salary and before to- moirow's sun, i tie !. N.ted Status if not the u orld's undone." J Cut rupt Custom House officers, Navai officers, Naval Store-keepers, Postmasters, Post office agents, Paper Contractors, their retainers, IKl tier-stiuppers and relative?, furnished the re cruits to the platoons of factionists that endeav ored to thwart public opinion at Charleston and Baltimore. Ihe people may well say, " I hese men acted lor their dirty tee, And cot f':oin any love lor you or me." In all cases where delegates were found fa voring disunion sentiments, and where they were found ardent opponents of the nomination ol Douglas, on inquiry it would be found that lliey were office-holders, or related to or in some manner connected with some recipient of pecuniary favors from |t he national administra tion. The great north-west, comprising the States of Ohio, Indiana. Illinois, Michigan, Wisconsin, lowa and Mmnesota, which are en titled to 66 electoral volts, were unanimouslv iti favor of D uiglas. Their delegates alleged that on the Cincinnati platform they could car ry all or oearlv all of these States tor their fa vorite. Considering their number and theii union on one man, they were certainly enti- tled to some respect. Their influence was just ly recognized at Charleston by all but faction ists and after the nomination ot Mr Lincoln by the Republican Convention at Chicago the in terest and success of the Democratic party seem ed to indicate Mr. Douglas as the tnau who should he selected as the candidate of the Na tional Democracy. At Charleston 305 delegates voted lor the nomination ot Douglas about 57 tun—.. The whole Convention, when full, in ciuded 606 delegates. Tuts shows that Douglas there iiad a majority in his favor. Why tins majority should yield to the minority who were divided among themselves into small factions, is a position that in a Democratic .Convention cannot be maintained! The vote on the ad journment at Charleston shows that 50 J dele gates were present. Thus far the ?eceders ana disunionists had not much impaired the Con vention. The Seceders, headed by Mr. Yan cey, did not,when they withdrew, intend to re turn. He said "it would be dishonorable and humiliating for any delegate to go back to Bal timore." It wasas to them a resisnatioti ol their places in the body they had left. Provision was made by Ihe Convention for the election of de|egates>in the places of the Seceders by the Democracy of the States which they had mis represented. Fearing that this would not work well foe the disunionists, the Senators and Rep resentatives in Congress, who support such principle?, got up a letter recommending tliem (the Seceders) to go back to the Na' Con vention at Baltimore, and there to demand ad mission, and if admitted, and the majority would not yield to their unreasonable demands, to se cede a second time. This letter was signed by Jefferson Davis, and aii who favored disunion. Had it not been for "congressional interven tion," the seceders would nor have appeared at Baltimore. Ttie seceders from South Carolina and Florida, having more respect for themsehes could not. after having withdrawn, be induced to return. None from these States asked for ad mission at Baltimore, and yet with the knowl edge of this fact we were asked to mviie them to come back ' The majority of the Committee on Credentials representing a majority of the States, reported in favor of die speeders being re-admitted, when tiiev had been re-accredited to the Convention. But in the States of Ala bama and Louisiana, where the people had se lected new delegates, and in (Georgia, where new men had been chosen instead of the portion who went out, the report of the Committee was in favor ol the new delegates. As to Alabama and Louisiana, the new delegates were admit ted. The new delegates fioin Georgia were on the vote of the State of New York rejected. This left the State just named without a full representa'ion. The only representatives it had, were the 10 or 11 that refused to secede at Charleston. These gentlemen, although friends ol Mr. Douglas, on account ol the delicacy of their position, did not vote on any question be fore the Convention. The seceders from Mis sissippi, Defeware and other States, although admitted, would not return. In my judgment, no man who secedes from aiiy representative body ol men should be re-admitted. I howev er yielded my conviction of duty on this point • for what was supposed would tend to liar wo BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAI MORNING, AUGUST 3, 1860. i nize the party, and voted for the report of thei majority of the Committee throughout. The! action of the Convention therefore regulated audi ascertained who were duly constituted delegate. No motion was made to alter or in any manner change the platform. The persons who had meditated secession, and who, we have good reason to believe, came back lor no other pur pose, at this point again seceded. When a vote was about being taken, our raimaculaie Presi dent. Caleb Ctishing, stated that as a majority of the body a)id not enWtainlhe same sentiments, that he did, he considered it his duty to resign .. f his ofiice and take a seat on the floor with his delegation. He thanked the Convention for, their courteous conduct towards hinu, anu tat:-; red, while they thanked him for leaving the Chair by bursts of applause. As soon as lie va cated the Chair, the Hon. !). Todd, of Ohio, the first Vice President, stepped into it, and for so doing he was greeted with several rounds of applause. The business of the Cooven ion pro-l Ceeded with less delav under Mr. Todd than it had done under hts predecessor. Next the vo ting f m President took place. On the first bal lot Judge Douglas received 173 i votes: Mr. Breckinridge 2 votes—scattering 12 votes. — On the second ballot Douglas received 179 votes ; Breckinridge 5 votes arid the balance scattering. There were several delegate* in the Convention who did not vote. The whole num ber of delegates- present vas 4-22—out ot tins number Dbugias was "supported by 358, being ' more than two-tbirds. I hen on motion of Mr. Clarke, of Missouri, and .Mr. Moffat, of Vtr i gima, the noninutiou was made unanimous by acclamation. Next Mr. Fitzpatuck was selected on Ihe re commendation ol toe southern delegates for \ ice President. A gent'e inao from Alabama accepted on behalf of Mr. Fitzpatrick. He, however, subsequently,declined, and the Hon. H. V. Johnson,of Giorgi , was,by Ihe National Committee, nominated tor that office. These are the regularly nominated candidates of the National Democracy for President and Vbce President. Disunion Seceders cannot, bv Lav ing a body, whilst a majority remain, prevent a nomination. If such a principle would be te cogntzed as correct, disorganization would be the result in all nominating bodies. Delegates by refu-ing to do their duty when in a mirorilv would only have to leave and in this wav to render the majority powerless. Your State, county and township conventions would, through the influence of disappointed office hun ters, be destroyed. (Jn the question of representation it may be well eri jugn to say something. The object of representation, as I understand it, is to have the sentiments and principles of the district tar-' ried out us far as the same can t>e ascertained.— In each district the people shouid he prepared to make secessions so as to harmonize ttie whole ii such a thing can be effected. On this ac count on the platform we from the free States contended that we should not sacrifice ever\- thing to the views of lb-* men uho came from flit slave Stales. Me deemed the Cincinnati platform, which Laves the people in the Terri tories to regulate the question of slavery for themselves, as the true exposition of the rights of all sections of the confederacy. If it was good enough four years ago, w,- believe it good enough at the present tune. We were willing to allow all territorial legislation on the subject of slavery, or any other subject to be tested as to its constitutionality, by tne Supreme Court of Hie United States. H JW, ii'we were unwil ling, could this be avoided ( We also thought that if Mr. Buchanan was elected on said plat form that rio good reason existed why other can didates should not have the same opportunities. We did not deem it advantageous to the party to be changing platforms every four years; atul more still, we felt convinced thut the tepreseii t alive? of '.he people from the banks of the Hud son, Susquehanna or Wabash had as much right to take a part in the formation of a platform as the representatives from theSanfee or Savannah. We desired no greater but only equal rights with them. In their opinion or in the opinion of the disu nion seceders, Congress has a right to legislate in favor of slavery in the Territories, and not against it. The Republicans hold that Congress has power to legislate against slavery and not in lavor of it. If nine-tenths of the people in a Territory were for said institution, the Republi cans by Congressional intervention would pro hibit it, while on the other hand, if the same number of people were against it, the di ; union ists would by the same means force it upon them, Neither of these parties sustain the maxim, that all power is derived from the people. I hese are the positions assumed h v our oppo nents. The National Democracy, desirous oi having no agitation o:\ the slavery question,de ny tile right of Congress to interfere with it in the' Territories. They are willing to submit this matter to the people and if a majority of the citizens are in favor of, or against slavery, !• t them decide the question for themselves. Their legislation must be of course within their constitutional authority. The Dred Scott case holds that all properly in the Territories, no matter of whatsoever kind it may be, stands on an equal footing. Slaves are put on the saine conditions as cows or horses. Their owner is said to have the same right, to lake them there and to hold them when there, that the owners of other kinds ol property have to Iheir chattels while there. This decision is the law, and we as Democrats, do not mean to call it in ques tion. But to extend their privilege still fur ther, the disunion advocates or secedeis aver that Congress isjrequired by a slave code to pro tect slavery in tne Territories. This we deny, for the reason that in the decision referred to and by the clearly expressed provisions oi the constitution, every citizen of any state in the Union has a right to enjoy freedom of speech, and the liberty of the press. I( a Pennsylvani an goes to a Territory, no Congressional legisla tion can divest him of these rights. From all experience as to slave codes, where they exist in Freedom of Thonglit and Opinion. | Slates, these rights are denied : any person who I speaks or writes against slavery is punished Criminally by fine and penitentiary punishment. Fnis punishment cannot he inflicted in the Ter ritories by Congress, as long as the citizens of the several Slates are entitled to equal rights, or as long as the equality of the Slates is recognizedj hence the majority of the Democracy in the late National Convention opposed Congressional pro tection. Now, are the Republicans correct, when they allege (hat Congress can legislate a gairist slavery and not in favor o! it, or are the di<unianists light when they declare that Con gress can only legislate in fuv rot Slaverv. and , not against it ? iJas there ever heeti a body ot /men endowed with legislative power from tiie time the House ol Commons of Rngland took its rise to this day in which tiie members could not vote yes or rto on any subject before them'? Ihe right of legislation in nseli includes (lie right to consider and decide. Jt authorises at fiimatiee or negative action according to the judgment of the legislators, i believe at one time the Irish parliament had no power to ori ginate any measure : they were to pass upon _.such acts as the crown officers submitted to them, hut they could not adopt or reject any matter brought before them, they could vote ■ | yea or nay as conscience dictated. It lam cor •jrcct in my recollection, the legislative coun cils ol Loci* Napoleon at present have only . such a limited right to enact laws, hut each ; imember can vote for or against any thing, hi- is , required to act on. Again allow me to ask of j"what practical use can this matter of Congres sional intervention in favor of slavery in the . Territories be, what good can come of it.' Is it • not merely a political abstraction that cannot be carried into < tfec.t. As long a* a majority of i the Congressmen come from the tree Stales such ,j fin act cannot be passed. This majority is cer . tain'vtobe augmented after the taking of tiie I present * such being the case where are ■ the Congressmen to he found in the free States ■ who will enact a law that will send their ■ friends and nrighbors to the Penitentiary, for enteitaining and avowing the opinion that sla very is not "a divine institution." Do thedis unionists claim the right to issue a mandamus out ot tiie Court ot the United States to compel Congressmen to enact laws on this matter? II such authority is claimed it will be a new pow er not before thought of ! N'ow let me advert to the nomination of John C. Breckinridge and Jo*. Lane for Prpjident and \ ice President : both of these men were candidates before the regular National Conven tion, tor the high olfice ot President. Lane was not vfjfed foi after the adjournment at Charles tun. Rnf Jtreckinridge received-five votes (HI both ballots at Baltimore , out oi '2ll votes—l-22 fcetegaies, ■ rpiar to 5 votes, supported John C. Breckinri ige !! Not satisfied with this dem onstration in his favor, the seceders, including 5 or li delegates troin Pennsylvania who withr | out withdrawing, left the Convention, met lo geilier in tii - Maryland Institute. Their num -1 her w.o I'tf), two id this number that I know of iw re not delegate . ihese 105 resolved that every man should cast one vote. Then with i the 105 vates which would only have been 524 j votes in the Convention, they as disunionists • and nominated John C. Breckin j ridge and Joseph Lane lor Vice President.— ; This nomination is wholly irregular, it is like a I pewter dollar, bogus throughout. But notwith | standing its bogus character, we are asked to ! compromise with its advocates in reference to ' our electoral ticket. This I for one will npver i agree to. ll we agree that this nomination is . right, we may concede the same to one made j to-morrow, <Nc. ; A few ol the delegates who were at liead j iug may assemble together and on the same ; grounds, can nominate another candidate tor i Governor and ask the friends of General Foster jto compromise witti them. The precognition ot | such a doctrine would unsettle and disorganize ! all political organizations. How can the ! fi lends ol Judge Douglas'compromise with dis j union st-ceders ! Our platform is diametrically | opposed to their creed. Many ot the friends ot i D.mglds would refuse to cast their votes at ell ;i unv probability existed that* Breckinridge or Lane would be benefitted by their suffrages.—- Why should the Breckiniidge inen ask for a compromise in Pennsylvania, when their friends in New York, Missouti, aud elsewhere are nominating tickets for themselves. But a few days ago a new gubernatorial candidate was nomina.eii fay the ureckmridge men in Alissou ( ri, and ariangenients have been made in New York I r a Lreckutiluge electoral tcket. This I being the case, i think no compromise should (he entered into here. What inducement can be I found for compromise in tins State ? Do Penn sylvania Demociats mean to join hands with j disunion men ? Do tliev contemplate a dissolu i tion of the Union? Aie not Bieckinndge aud Lane trie candidates ol Mr. Yancey and his dis i union adherents ? lias ndl Yancey and many | who act with him in the South, solemnly averr ed, that il Mr. Lincoln is elected he should nev- I ei be inauguiated : that the crisis might as well : come now as hereafter ? If this threat is made j j in as much solemnity as it seems to be, are not the disuniouists endeavoring to bring about their ! threa's *by running Breckinridge and Lane.— Do they in tnis manner intend to distract and divide the democratic party, so as to defeat Douglas and elect Lincoln, in order to have a pretext "to precipitate the cotton States into a l revolution ?" Their object is a dissolution of the Union ; Yancey in all his speeches assert the right. Then let me again ask, whether any man in the Keystone State is willing to be an instrument in the hands of the seceders to bring | about a dissolution of the Union. John C. Breckinridge will be the second Vice President, : who has cherished and lostered disunion ; 1 would suggest, that the fate and fame ol Aaron i Burr will be his. j A TRAVELER tells us that be knows a fellow i down South who was so fond of a young woman j tnat he has rubbed his nose off kissing her shad ow on the wall. miscellaneous. A CALIFORNIA TRIAL. A teilow named Donks was lately tried at \ üba city, for entering a miner's tent and seizing a fag of gold dust valued at eighty-four dollars. The testimony showed that he had once been employed there, and knew exactly where t tie owner kept his dust ; that on the night of October 19th, he cut a si ir in the tent, reached in, took the hag and then ran off*. Jim Bulier, the principal witness, testified i that he saw the hole cut, saw the leach in, ; and heard him run away. "I put for him at once," continued the wit ness, "but when I cotched bun, I didn't ; find Bill's bag ; but it was found afterwards, j where he had throwed it." Counsel for the Prisoner.—How far did lie get in when he took the dust f Boiler.—Well, he was stoopin" over—about j half in, 1 should sav. Counsel—may it please your honor, the in dictment isn't sustained, and I shall demand an acquittal on the direction of the court. The prisoner is on trial for enteting a dwelling in i the night time with intent to steal. The tes timony is clear that he made an opening, ; through which he protruded himself about halt j way, and stretching out his arms, committed the theft. But the indictment charges that he ; actually entered the tent cr dwelling. Now, your honor, can a man enter the house, when only one-halt ol uis body is in, jan-J the other 1 halfoot 1 | Judge.—l shall leave the whole matter to the jury. They must judge of the taw and the fact as proved. The jury brought in a verdict of "guiltv" as jto one-half of the body from the waist up, and i "not guilty" as to the other ha!/. The Judge sentenced the guilty half to two ; years' imprisonment, leaving it to the prisoner's option to have the "not guilty" half cut off, or take it along with him. A judgment, we think, worthy of Solomon. : BEIGHAM \OC.\G ON A TOUR. —The Dcseret | S\"ews of the 20th uit.,"gives an account of a tour of Presidents Young, Brigham and Wells, with about one hundred followers, through the j new settlement ia the county of Cache. Ser i tnons were delivered a* the principal stopping j places, "to instruct the people in the discharge !of their several duties as saints and pioneers" in that part of the Territory. The .Vet cs says : "With"Cache Valley, the visiting of which was the pa object of the tour, all with •■vho.'iyWe'ha.wegfc mversed, seemed delighted.— Kvervtfyra* tßjfe is fatf>and prosperous. The per,fUL-4)ave bTefl themselves marvel ous!}' in pntfmg in crops and preparing the necessary things lor their comfort, protection and prosperity. About five thousand five hun | cired acres have been ploughed and sou n or planted there this spring, about four-fifths of the whole amount in wheat, the baiiance in corn, po'atoes. oats, hat ley, Re. all looking we,l, but r.ot as forwatd as the crops are in Weber, Davis and Great Salt (Like counties, in all of which, as well as jin most of the counties in this part ot the Territory, wheat ciops especially look remarka i b!y well, and at present promise an abundant harvest j The people in these new locations have not, asyes,done much inthe line of building, but ' are making extensive arrangements to provide i themselves with comfortable habitations during I the summer. WESTERN ANTIQUITIES.—A correspondent of the Winona (Minnesota) Republican, writes that .Mr. A. L. Jenks, of that place : who is prospecting in one of those inonnds which are so common in that country, recently discovered, at the depth of five or six teet the remains > f seven or eight people ol very size. One thigh bone measured three feet iu length. The under jaw was one inch wider than that of any other man in ihe city. He also lound cUm shells, pieces ol'ivorv or bone rings, pieces of kettles made of earth and coarse sand. There were at the neck of one ol these skeletons, teeth two inches in length by one half to three fourths of an inch in diameter, with holes drilled into the side, and the end polished with a crease around it. Also, an arrow five inches long by one and a halt wide, stuck through the back near the back bone ; and one about eight inches long stuck in the left hreaft. Also, the blade of a copper hatchet, one and a half inches wide at the edge ant ] two inches long. The mound is some 200 feet a bove tlie surface of the Mississippi, and is comprised of clay immediately above the re mains two leet tliick ; then comes a layer of black loam ; then another layer of clav us inches thick, all so closely packed that it was with difficulty that it could be penetrated.— There are some four or five different .'avers of earth above tfie remains. There is no such clay found elsewhere in the vicinity. K7"An old man who had a neighbor rather addicted to telling large stories, alter listening to one fday, which quite taxed his creduli ty, boasted that he himself could tell a higher one still, and proceeded thus One day as I was quite at the farther end of my farm, more than a tniie from my house, at once I saw a very heavy, dark cloud rising in the west. Soon I saw the torrents of ram defending at a distance, and rapidly approach ing the place where J stood with mv wagon and horses. Determined (if possible,) to es-- caoe the stonn, I instantly jumped into my wagon, and started my team toward home in a hurry. By constant application of the whip to my horses, I barely escaped being overtaken by the rapidly approaching torrent. But, believe rne sir, so tremendously did it pour down, that my little dog, winch was close H- L hind me, actually had to swim Ihe whole way I WHOf.E \IIBER, 2913, j rfn unfortunate Illustration. —Prof. C |oi Bowdoin College, was noted for havin a certain set ol illustrations from which he could | not well deviate wit html running the risk of a | blunder. In illustrating the powerfuleffects of prussic acid, he was wont to inform the class t.iU a crop placed on a dog's tongue was suffi cient to kill. On one]occasion the class filed ioto the recita tion room, and the pressor commenced the ex ercise. . Srnit •, he said, addressing a voun man I Whose chance of gaining the valedictory was | very slender, "what can you say of prussic acid. [ Is it powerful or otherwise ?" ; '-It is rather powerful," said the student, du biously. * ' Rather powerful ! said the professor, in- "Put a dropon vour tongde, and it ! will kill a dog !" ' fhe shout oflaughfer which followed, and .Smiths confusion, revealed to the professor that his illustration had served a double pur pose . r . ~An old man in Indiana was in the habit of u-incr large words misapplied, lie thought •ht v.- rds '-in' and 'Adultery' synonymous, sn ";' the latter for the former ; making a ridiculous mistake. i !:e oid man had removed his family into a very -smful' neighborhood ea the Wabash, -re swearing and othmr sins were common, iheref >re removed his family back to his ; ; : " nt ' r for the sake o"f good society. oe cay soon after his return he met a neigh - v, v.-jj ) ihus him ° '•veil. Bill, why did you leave the Wabash country ? Wasn't the land good ? .. ''• l •" : '- e land,' replied Billy, a fter taking ,:;:n ' :js,6ns ' 1 verily found the sub-soil to be super-excellent. But the state of morals in me society was so depraved and contagious inat i soon found that I could not stay thero | without committing adullerv P clergyman '.vas endeavoring to instruct one of his scholars on the nature of a mira cle. '• NOW, boy, said he, "suppose you {were to see the sun rising in the middle of the night what would you call that ?" ' "The moon, sir," "No, but," said the clergymen, "suppose you knew that it was not the moon, but the sun, and that you actually saw it rising in the miOule ol the night, what should you think 1" t] j'!?, 2Se ' s "' * should think it was lime to get Emro.—What must he conduct a newspaper right ? Write. Sv^ln 1 ' S " tCesStUr ? 10 a larmer fo aisi him ? d.S' *l°ltr e 3 llind man ihe B rM,wt g ' VPn b ' ' 01 Hho commits the greatest abominations Gallons, What is the greatest terrifiei ? Fire. ; A TRAVELING gent, passing a farm, saw a boy at work in a corn field by the road side . ! n , ? . 0 an '"quiring turn ot mind, he stopped his horse, and thus addressed the youth ':Mv son whose farm is this?" "Dad s, was the laconic reply. '•Does your father raise any stock ?" "Yas, io's on 'em." "What k nd ?" "Cornstocks, mostly," was the reply as he proceeded to "hoe" a hill of the article, and the stranger passed on his way musing. ALI-CKY PRINTER —The London Times notices the fact that a journeyman printer, a very steady, upright and deserving old man, .ias repentiv become the possessor of S2OO 000 H- the decease „f an uncle in Australia. ' He 1:3.1 be.-n employed in the office where he was working at the time he received the news of (lis accession to wealth, for more than forty years without intermission. SHARP.— Dr. A., physician of North Bridge water, Mass., while tiding with one of his pa tients, met Dr. 8., another physician of that town, when the following conversation took place "Well Doctor, f see vou aretakin* one of your patients to ride." "Exactly" say , Dr. A. "Well," said Dr. B. "a thing I never do is to take my patients out to ride."" "I know it," said Dr. A., "the undertaker does it for you." i _ < AFSaP m dis chile's to Washington to pl7 for oiiis ob de fiovernrnent." 1 what are you try.n' to got now, "Ise swine to 'ply for de post ob sexton in de post otlis apartment." I '^f xton °b P ost °® s apartment, what '■To berry de dead letters !" CLEAR THE i RACK —'Look here, Pete,' said a knowing darkey to his companion, 'don't stand on the railroad.' 'Why, Joe V 'lyase if de cats see that rr.oufob yourn' dey will link it am a depot and run right in. N T HAD. —At a printers' festival '.he follow- I ing toas! was gicen : ' -The Editor and Lawyer—The "devil" is satislied with the "copy" of the former, but re i quires tbe original of the latter. fCF*"The victory is not always to the strong," as the boy sain when he killed a skunk with a ; brickbat^ IF'Jt is very well for little children to be lambs, but a very bad thing for them to grow up sheep. KF""I got some boot tn that bargain," as the { loafer said when he got kicked out of the door. VOL. 4. NO. I.

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