Newspaper of Bedford Gazette, January 4, 1861, Page 1

Newspaper of Bedford Gazette dated January 4, 1861 Page 1
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k - / . '^ V *' ''"' '^ r . VOLI iVE 57. NEW SERIES. r BEDFORD GAZETTE -H- , s rrn {.ISHED EVERY FRIDAY MORNING Ii 3?- r. IfflEYEttS, At the following terms, to wit: $1 .50 per annum, CASH, in advance. §2.00 '< " it paid within tha year. •s-,2.51) << " it' not paid within the year. subscription taken tor 1c s than six months. CT'No paper discontinued until alt arrearages are paid, unless at the option of the publisher, a has been decided by the United States the stoppage of a newspaper without toe payment ot ar rearages, is prima facie evidence ol fraud and is a he c have decided that persons are ac countable for the subscription pr.ce oi newspapers, fnhej tike them from the post office,whether they subscribe for them, or not. Original £ a I c. Wr.tt'n expressly for the "iledford Gazette. IDLE HOI US BY A FLOWHAN. (Concluded from lust we k s paper.) <\ letter containing the information, he h• for some time dreaded, was that day handed to him from the Colonel, intimating nis determi nation of wiiholding from him further supplies, since the money already advanced, amounted to more than the value ot the property bequeath ed him by his father. As an interview would be unavailing, while it could be only painful tn the feelings of both, he hoped one would not be insisted on. With whatever certainty an evil may be anticipated, previous preparation scarce ly renders the shod" 'ess violent when it actual ly occurs. YOUPU lald.tr m rushed from his lodeiP23 in a state bordering upon insanity.— Endeavoring in vain to find a temporary re spite from his Agonizing feelings and nucc n scious of what he was doirg, towards eve ning from the influence ol habit, he repaired to theliouse ot Colonel Pressing. AH ""ere, as usual, engaged in play when he entered, imo he took his customary seat as if he had the means of joiningVnerc. The Colonel apparently surprised at his pres ence, asked him i! he had not received his letter, and if so. and he wished an interview, he must see that the present place and time were not the best adapted for if. Robert bowed ac quiescence and withdrew to a distant corner oi the apartment, where he intimated his intention of awaiting Colonel Passing's leisure, by whom he was, in a few moments, led into an adjoin ing room. His receipts for the sums advanced toVim, together with an authenticated valua tion ol his property, were laid before him, and the balance w is against him to a tolerably con siderable amount. Utter ruin stared him m the face, and he vehemently, in the name of the friendship he bore his depa.ted father, and of the many favors he had confessed himself <o have received from him, supplicated Prussing to give him but the means of once again t.ymg his fortune. n "It is far, very far indeed, from my wi-h, replied the Colonel, "to debar you from all pos sibility of retrieving yourself ; but my own los ses of late have been so considerable that how ever willing,! have not the means of assisting you." "There is only one chance I see I>r you ; but I am convinced it would be of such a na ture, as to be scornfully rejected by you." "Name it, name it," cried Baldwin, eagerly interrupting htm, "my condition is so desperate a, effectually.to drown all qualms of conscience. In the name of God, ktep me no longer in this dreadful suspense "As you inss-t upon if, 1 shall, however re luctantly, comply, but remember if the proposal oflencs you, you have only yourself to blame. You have plighted your troth fo Constance Merle, whom I have long wished to see united to a dear friend of my own. Now, what think you ot letting the dice decide, whet or you ur he shall be the fortunate cnan. Should you win, Constance remains your own and with her sdoo dollars, a sum amply sufficient to turn the wheel ol fortuoe. Should I, on the contra ry, be successful, why then you must renounce her." . , . "Despicable scoundrel! to judge of the :et.- in-'s of others by those which actuate your own sardid bosom! It was for this, then that you drew me on, day by day, until you have plun dered me ot all that 1 was worth in money, and now you would take all that makes life worth the throw of a dice; heavens! what punish ment does not your intawy deserve 1" "Don't allow yourself to be thus carried a wav by your intemperate feelings, my dear sir; what l" proposed I felt convinced would have been rejected ; your indignation does your head and heart honor ; but you should be just to me and remember that I did not draw you on and never advanced you a dollar but at your own urgent request, or to relieve you from very pre sing difficulties," and with these words the Colonel withdrew,and resumed his place at the hazard table. He in whose breast the tardy lessons of vir tue have been carefully implanted, is'never a villain by impulse. It was so w.th Robert Baldwin ; in the first ebullition of passion, the manof honor broke out, but it required little reasoning within himself to quiet a conscience of late too easijy subdued ; furnishing but anotf er proof of the fact that he who takes the hrst step into the downward road to ruin, will find how much more easy it is to take each succee ding one until the lowest depth be reach ed. The clock was striking twelve, the hour at which the players were wont to separate—nc time was to be tost—-Robert Baldwin moved al most mechanically towards the Colonel and ac cepted the proposal that so short a time bet <re, had fired him with such intense indigna tion. "The stake," he said "is a considerable one. and lam determined to try my fortune with the r.ew dice I have purchased this morn, ing." "You are perfectly at liberty to do as yoi please ; prav commence," rejoined Prusaing with the characteristic coolness of a professec gambler. Ribert shook the dice, and his morning les son was not neglected. "Twelve, on my honor," cried he in an ex tacy oT triumph, "the highest possible number beat that Colonel if you can." "You are over hasty, young man, have i moments patience" replied t! latter, while with his utmost force, he dashed the dice 011 the table,one of which split assunder by the vio lence of the throw, thus giving him the advan tage of three diet, in lieu of two —"1 ourtet i as 1 live! You have lost Constance. "No, no, this is fou! play, a shameful imposi tion,"' screamed Robert Baldwin. "Then you yourself are the impostor, retor ted the Colonel—"Did not the dice belong tc you —Your conduct is contemptible, to use nc harsh-r phrase ; 111 attempting to question 1113 right to the possession of what I have latily won." As Robert Baldwin now that all rxcitemen 1 was removed, became fully conscious of tC• horrors of his situation, .1 convulsive shuddei crept through his whole Irame, huge drops 0 perspiration rolled over his forehead, and he re mained for a few moments stupiiied as if moleii t > the spot. Xn.Ui'e at ' ngth recorded- K" functions, and with a terrible imprecation upon the .authors of his ruin, he [rushed from then presence. CHAPTER 111. Two years had elapsed since the fatal nigl.i when the events above detailed occurred, am Constance Merle sat in her chamber sorrowing for her absent lover, from whom she -had nevei heard since his departure from the home of hi: childhood, so soon alier his fathei s funeral. He had promised lier then, to return sperm \ and to write to her cf'U n ; he had done neither His uncle ha! now settled up his estate, vv ic: seemed to go for an heir ; for Col me Pruietog, thoogh fuiiy empowered intake pos session at any moment seemed in no hurry tr assert his claim. Robert Baldwin had disap peared from the country so suddenly and sc com j ietely that he was forgotten by a!l hut tin faithful heart that was still his own, and tha: kept its I ng, weary, sleepless vigils awaiting his return until "hope 'deferred" seemed rapid ly giving place to despoil. Nes. lucre vvas or.< other that did not lorget him , one other thai loved him almost with a father's love, though his name never crossed his lips ; one other wh< when Robert bud so suddenly disappeared, track ed him through all his wanaeiir.gs to his pres ent abiding-place and held ward and watch a a distance over the prodigal, that his puiposi might not be suspected, until ttie hour wher his redemption might be assured. When Robert so suddenly left the mansion o Colonel Piussing and rushed out into the street the cold night air that fanned his fevered tem ples, recalled him-to himself, and as he looker upwards and beheld bright, glorious stars, that hold their festival around tiie throne of their Creator, slumbering calmly like islands up on the bosom of 'fie ocean, he seemed to lie-i his father's voice mingling with "the music 'o the spheres," hymning that glorious song tha! was sung to the Shepherds of Chaldea, "Peace on eaith° to men good will," bidding his throb bing heart and brain be still. A holy calm succeeded to the tumult that was raging with in him, and walking steadily onward, by the time he had reached the op n cotintiy, having had leisure for reflection, he had determined cn the course of his future life. After a tedious journey of some weeks dura tion he found himself in a large Southwestern City, and devoting his time with the un""ng energy with "which he vvas naturally eptowii > to the business he had learned so we*, begm ing at the bottom of the ladder and W!ilk,n g !lIS way gradually but surely upwards, be soon be came a merchant of considerable metns and re spectable standing. Colonel Prussing had tracked him in the va rious disguise?, he had assumed and though he he had changed his name, still the Colonel was informed of his almost every ad, from the hour of his departure from his rool. A faithtul BEDFORD, PA., FRIDAY MORNING, JANUARY 4,1861. correspondent kept him thoroughly posted. | Why did he hunt after the fugitive, with such ; solicitude. He had a purpose. Was it to beg- j far hi in a ir ain when he wou Id be worth the la n 3 bor 1 Robert had been now two years in his new > home having renewed the vow in his own heauT which he had so solemnly made by his father's I death-bed, the memory ol her whom he had lost j and whom he expected to meet again only in j heaven, when, alter one of those protracted, periods of rainy weather which are common i to portions of the South West, that terrible ep-j idemic, typhus fever, broke cut in the neighbor-') nood, having been superinduced by the vast a-j mount ol decaying vegetable matter whick under the combined influence of heat and mois ture, steamed forth continually a sick-nm * and pestilential miasma. Robert Baldwin b4- ] came one of the earliest subjects ol its attack.-*• j For weeks his life hung upon a thread, but he j was happily unconscious of his sufferings. I*l his boisterous ravings, or in the low muttering rj of his delirium, the name of Constance wssev- i er upon his lips, and tie trust have oiten felt j that her spirit, at least, was near him, for inthe, wildest paroxysms of "his fever, when it was impo. ible to control him, he would utter he."' name, and then, with a smile sweet as jhat which first nestles upon the tiny cheek of jibe babe, he would sink down calmly and cjti-Pl!} as if the troublous storm was stilled. > When he hid somewhat recovered, the fit ful physician, who had s> carefully atMt-hf • him in his bang and trying illness, entered room one day, and approaching him said/-''; hirn, "1 have brought with me now, to intro duce to you one ol the two caref il n 'ses, wb> have aided ine to save your life, and you mud, ( at least, thank lam, though I know not lis; name, as he hVs refused to give it to me.'" Robert raised himself upon his elbow aad J- , held Colonel Prussing, who now advanc d S<- wards him—"Stand back, villain . 1 exclaim.d . the >i(k man, "you have robbed me oi all I vasj woith i . worldly goods, anl then, of the wop- ! an i loved, and sent ine ambit upon the d | to perish like a beggar Begane i. Wj ■ "Rob- rt Baldwin, you shall hear me frit," ( spoke the Colonel, "arid then you shall rep.-.t j wi at you have said, or you shall say wfntever ! • 's-' your heart will dictate. Allow men- i to ccngraiulate you on your recovery, art on : the honorable and manly course you hav-t ur sue 1 since our last meeting. \ou will reiem b: rth first night I met you in a gamblingiell. J f went tlieiv to seek lor you. During mi ab sence fiom town, at that tin you had farn a victim to the vice which was the cause t all your sorrows ; this I l-arne %on my retuji— Vnur lather had requested me to watch ver you when he sent you to the city in wita 1 resided, and it I bad not had another wighty reason for doing so, his wish wou d havtbem law to rr.e Vou well reinemher how vv met there : I saw that the passion for play hi ta ken too deep a root in your bosom ! o h easi- j !y eradicated; and, that to reason for nmistra'e with ' j<i, would have been unavailing -,3s the only chance of redeeming you, I exacted a promise from you to risk your money it my house only. The friends of mine who you met there, and myself, had so arrangei/nalters • as that you only could be the loseti laey ; were friends upon whom I could plat* impli cit rt-iiance, and, were willing to aulne in tny j efforts to redeem, from ruin, the son ' my ben elactor, for such was your father t' me. Ihe money which they won from eve "' ning, was returned to me to the "d cent. It was I, too, who rent to you ihe jJi*icJual from whom you purchased the loade/dice, to tempt you, as it was try vvish to pre*" ' y° u l, iat there is no action, however " 1 ' r '' 'oiling, which the passion for | lay v* l not lead a man of otherwise exalted feelir* ani * n ' ce sense cf honor to commi'. kne' kat there was a noble heart throbbing load , n < S ullt j .• i i \ io a cloud, and t w rsn which enveloped you I -- .. be worhv ol i ed to purify it, that y ~ - j . dpiness vou wouli oth the dear girl whose FF ~,ra * J . M 1..-. She is dear to me, as ; erwise have blight? . sisier though vol nev- Ihe daughter of a J S ' S! ". o J pr knew that, b . your lather to j J. aM.be S " e '* IT^I , , ..act of folly, and never vi.l be, j 7' .I"vou will find now in llWoveandj i oin mi, a ( , ons , aace ;yi er le, a reord, en- the struggle you have .ade to r ,,j/tn yourself. Now, whenever jou are willing call her your wife. I will I've her to nurse yo,as she has done for wes past, until vou are able to return to your xestral home, which is still your own ; and blv ask ibr myself the pleasure of, occasionallwitnes sing the happiness of that domestic li in her own little paradise, which was denied Con- , stance Merle's bachelor uncle. No it you

wish me to leave you, you may say ? Robert, stretching out his arms, tlfd them i around the Colonel's [neck, Mclant, "you , art > now indeed my lather." We *ot tell how Constance happened to have bjat R b- Freedom of 'Tbought and Opiaioii. I erl's bedside, for weeks past, a faithful nurse ; | m'.v she succeeded in curing him more rapidly j .ban any physician could have done; how they gat home again to the old roof-tree ; nor how the bachelor uncle, whenever h made a visit Mo the happy pair, his children, as he called could scarcely get away from them, so anxious were they to impart to him a portion f t that happiness which filled their own hearts ■ overflowing ; nor how careful Robert Bald win endeavored to instil into the mind of a lit tle Robert, who was th" very image of his moth er,, the horror O/ IDLE HOMIS. £ll i 3 C 111 aIIC ott 0.- ! ... A MODERN DICTIONARY. Public abuse —The mud with which everv ! j traveler is spattered on his road to distinction. i Distant relations—People who imagine they have a claim to tob you if you are rich, and to I insult you if you are |>oor. Belle—A beautiful, but useless Insect with-' | out wing?, whose colors fade ou being temoved from {he sunshine. Heart—A rare art id", sometime found in i : human beings. It is soon, however, destroyed iby commerce with the world, or i 1.-.t becomes fata! to its possessor. Housewifery—An ancient ail, said to have , been fashionable among young girls and wives; ! now entirely out of use, or , practiced only by the lower oiders. i Wealth—The most respectable nudity of man. Virtue—An awkward habit of acting differ ently from other people. A vulgar word. It creates great rr.irth in fashionable circles. Honor—Shooting a friend through the bead | whom you love, in order to gain the praise ot a i fewotheis whom you despise. | Laughter—An agreeable and contagious con- vuision of the human countenance on receiv j ing a taylors bill, or being a>ked to return an [ umbrella. ] Managers of Lotteries —M"u who ray the i Legislatures handsomely ir the privilege of i cfieiting die people. A f vocet dings—Unfinished cobwebs of the . dark iges. Cigar—A slender, yellow speckled I formed A Ire : and folded haves cfa wooder i lul plant discovered by Raleigh. When wo | men are fa.se, and men selfish—when your creditor duns you like a fiieud, and your debt or takes the act—when the future look? dfuk, | and the present drearv, by the fragi it.ce of'. is 1 little instrument, extracted by means of fire, ! you are for a brief period rendered insensible j ito every sorrow, and lulled into dreams nwre ent'. riaining than those of sleep. Satirical poems—Harmless impertinences in verse. Marriage—l'he gateway through which the I lover leaves his enchanted regions and returns to earth. Death—An ill-bred fellow, who visits peo ple at ail seasons, and insists upon their imme i diately returning his call. Friend—A person who will not assist yot because he knows your love will excuse binij Wedded lliss A term used by Alihon. Bargain—A'ludicrous transaction, in whici eacli party thinks he has cheated the other. Doctor—A man who kills you to-day tosav 1 you from dying to-morrow. J * n Lunatic Asylum —A kind of hospital, wher ; detected lunatics are sent by those who iia'e had the adroitness to conceal their own infirni | Tragedian—A fellow with a tin pot on lis head, who s'aiks about the stage, and gets uto j a violent passion for so much a night. ! Critic —A large dog that goes unchaind, ! and barks at everything he does not conipe ; hend. Impossibility—Breakfast on beard a stean boat without sausage" everybody, yet nobody ;—eqial j to Colonel. I Jury—Twelve prisoners in a box to try me or more at the bar. \ oung attorney—A useless member of so:ie | tv, who often goes where lie has no fcusines to i be, because he has no business where ho otglu j to be. j State's evidence—A wretch who is pariou ed fir being baser than his comrades. Political honesty —Previous lexicograpiers have not noticed this word, treating it .lto gether as fabulous—lor definition, vide sei-in -1 ferest. The grave—An ugly hole in the groand, which lovers and poets wish they were in. but fake uncommon pains to keep out of. Sensibility—A quality by which its posses sor in attempting to promote the happiness ot other people, loses bis own. A man of talents—An impertinent scoundrel who thrusts himself forward ; a writer of exe crable poetry ; a person without modesty ; a noi sy fellow ; a speech-maker. Lawyer—A learned 'gen'leman. who res cues your estate from your enem" and keeps it himself. My dear—An expression used by man and ; wile at the commencement of a quarrel. % Honesty—An excellent joke. Dentist—A person who finds woik for his: own teeth by taking out those of other people. ' Fear—The shadow of hope. Tongue—A little horse which is continually : running away. DMP3 ALPHABETICAL ADVICE A—AIways atten i to your own avocation ; avoid ale houses an:! artful women. B—Be benevolent but not prodigal, bury all ; bickerings in the bosom of fcrgetfulness. C—Contrive to collect cash and keep it. D—Do your dut\ and defy the devil. E—F.irly endeavor to eradicate every error, j both ol head nr.d Ik ait. F—Fight lauly when you fight; but the bet- ! ter way is not to fight at aii. Fiddle for no j jfool, j (J—Grace, goodness, gumption and a little i goose grease, enable a man to slip through the ! world mighty easy. Get them and glory in I j them. ll—Harbor hope in your near', if you would j ' :? happy ; but haik ye, hope can't sunder nor j i rut the ripe of the hangman, ■j I lnquisi!iveness is insufferable; indulge not, | in it. J- J!epa may be called the juice ot joy, and ■ th y._ , ' ofj A : 6it let them alone; too much j j- king oiten destroys the joviality of the social .circle. K—Kindness kindles the fire of friendship. A kiss always avails more than a kick. ! L—Love the Ladies, look before you ieap, i eschew loaferism. j M—Make not mischief by meddling with o- : ; llier f "Iks' business. X —Never be caught napping except in the ! J ni_-ht time. ! o—Order is Hraven's first law : obey it.' P—Pursue the plain path of probity, arid put i • in practice what you will give in pr.cept. Q. —Quarrel not, be not tond of asking ques- i lions, or addicted to queries. R—iiiirn ruins respectability ; renounce, re nts'," and renovate. ch, ye sinners Become saints and you are sale. r—Take time by the forelock ; try to turn everv m tk :it to account. J i G—fJutson unites to unity . in the whole ' universe there is unison : be yo t therefore uni- i ted for the sake of unison. ; V— Vanity has no connection with valor:! ' i ■ remember that. ! i \V—Women arid wine bring want, woe and i wretchedness, when wickedly indulged in. X—'Xtra 'xertions accomplish 'xtraordinary j ends. Y—Yield to no tyrant: yeomen and their yoke-fellows are lords of the soil. V.— Zigzagging is characteristic of a zanv;' lal.v a straight course through life, and zealous- ! ly pursue it. WATERMELON LX TRAORDIXA RV. ! . "How much do you ask for that melon?*', said a cute dapper-looking chap to a sturdy dar key who was mounted upon a cart before one of the principal hotels in Philadelphia, some time ig\ "For dis big un ' why. massa, f reckon he's wurt three levies, I does.'' "Is it ripe ?" "O, yes, mass, he ripe, shu. I dun plug urn through, if you say so." With that the old darkey took out his jack knife, and was making the first incision in the melon, when it gave a long, deep, piercing "oh!" "Gosh amighty! what's dat ?*' exclaimed Cuff, dropping his knife. "What do you stop for asked the gentle man. "Bress God J I tot I heard him holler, I did." "Com -, cot away, and s e if it is ripe." He gave a poke with his knife, and this time the melon shrieked out : "Oh, murder! you'll kill me!" Before the last word was out, the melon went tumbling io the ground on '.he one side of the cart and the darkey on the other, bellow ing, "O, de Lord ! O, de Lord of hrLbens !"' Picking himself up, ho half scrambled, half ran a few paces from the cart, and turning to behold the fragments of the rmdon, exclaimed : "Whew, dis nigger nebber stands dat ! Clare to God it holler murder !" Just at this time a distinguished ventriloquist was seen leaving the cart. :fi?f*A cute Yarkee, in Kansas, sells liquor in a gun barrel, instead cf a glass, that he may avoid the law, and make it appear, beyond dis pute, that he is selling by the barrel. 'jfiP'Leirning is an ornament to the rich, a refuge in adversity, and the best provision a gainst old age. •VZMH.9: XlMlßlSiil, !>. O PfC'JK op VERSIFICATION.—Some English Knight of the Goose-qnill (does he | grow the quiil he vie Ids ?) has just perpetra ted t:ie t Bowing, which he prefatoriiy de scribes as "Alphabetical Assertions, Briefly Collected, Describing Elegant Flirtations, Gen erally Happening, Nutting, (Opportunity Pro- , ' ducing Queer Small Talk Under Volk's Windows, 'Xcitmg Voutbful Zeal," j Nc. i Arthur Ask'd Amy's Affection j Be', i'ung Benjamin's CtrJe, 1 Cicily Cut Charles' Connection, 1). horah Dickv Denied. Eleanor's Ere Efficacious, Frederick's Fatality Feels j Giles Gained Georgian!— Good Gracious . Harry Hates Helen's High Heels. Isaac Is Isabel's Idol, Jenny Jeers Jonathan Jones; Ivatherine Knows Knock-Kneeil Kit Krieda Loves Leering Lucy's Long-bones, Mary Meets Mortifications, Nicholas Nancy Neglects, J Oliver's Odd Observations Proves Peter Poor Patty Protects ! j Quaker Quintillian's Queer Quibbles Red Rachel's Reasons Resist : Soft Simon's Sympathy Scribbles • Tales To Tall Tabithy T ivi>t, Ursilla Unthink Undoing : Volatile Valentine's Vest; VV illiam's Wild Wickeder Wooing 'Xceed3 Youthful Zelica's Zest. WHY THE BLACK KEI'IBLICAiYS WANT WAR. The Black Republicans are very angry with President Buchanan because he is unwilling to see his country devastated by war. They were m hopes that he would take the initiative, and thus relieve Lincoln of the responsibility atui odium of making a civil, savage and un ; constitutional war. They thought if war should ; be b' queathed as an inheritance to Mr. Buch -1 anan s successor, that he could prosecute it without blame, or that he could make peace | with glory. Da they want war 1 We do not i well understand them, but begin to think that whether they do r not, they are making such a clamor,and getting public affairs in such a condition, mat war will be inevitable. ' Suppose the Black Republicans force a war in the event of section '■ What then * Tho working classes of the North, who were cajo le ! Into the support of Lincoln by the promise : of peace, high wages and unexampled prosper . tly, will be called upon to enlist and jmarched i !o the South to fight a people who have never injured them. They will be expected to fight t'.e Black Republican battles, to invade South ! ern soil, and t > pillage, burn and murder. The | Black Republican part} has thrown them out of employment, and to keep them from turn |mg upon their rascally leaders and betrayers, and tearing them all to pieces, they will most probably kick up a war with the South, so as to g"t rid of the mane and sinew, the artisans and laboring men of tin North who will be sent South under a pretended cry about country, country, only as food for gunpowder.—Pcnn sylvanian. A lady of Boston, Mass., writing to a friend, says : —"A ragged little urchin came to mv door not long since, asking for cI.J clothes. I brought him a vest and pair of pants, which I thought would be a comfortable fit. Young A menca took the garments and examined each, then, with a disconsolate look said ; -'There ain't no watch pocket." GOOD SECURITY. —(Street sweeping bov) "Please sir, give me a crown." Swell—"Sixpence is the only small money I have, my little lad." Boy—"Veil sir, I'll get your change ; and if yer doubts my honor, hold my broom." Nearly four hundred negroes havp held a camp meeting near Newark, New Jersey, late ly. The favorite song was : "We are here to-day to sing ami pray Oh—o—o—o. Y—a—a—a—ah. Tomorrow we will go away Oh—o— o—o, Y—a—a—a—ah. A GENTLS HINT. —"Why don't you get married ?" said a young lady the other day to a bachelor Iriend. "I have been trying lor the last ten years to find some one who would be silly enough to have me," was the reply. "I guess you haven't been up our way," was the insinuating r-joinder. A NEGP.O LIEBIG —"I say, Sambo does ye know what makes de corn grow so fast when you put the manure on it ?" "No, I don't hardly." "Now, I'll jist tell ye. When de corn be gins to smell the manure it don't like de fume rv, so it Slurries out ob de ground anJ gits upas last as possible, so as not to breathe e'e bad air." [Gr"Thosfr who shun society are neither very strong nor very weak. VOL 4. NO. 2L