Newspaper of Burlington Free Press, April 14, 1843, Page 1

Newspaper of Burlington Free Press dated April 14, 1843 Page 1
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r NOT THE GLORY OF O JB S A R BUT TBB WBLFARB OF ROME. VOL. XVI. BURLINGTON, VERMONT, FRIDAY, APRIL H 1843. No. 4G THE OLD FARM RAKE. I lore ill I love it I and who'll undertake To ohido ms for loving my old Form rake 1 I have treasured it long, as an heir loom to mc, And c're kept it safe, lest it injured might be i I prize it above every thing of its kind, So precious this implement is to my mind, Do you ask why it is 1 The answer I make, 'Twas my grandfather's own this old farmrake. How often I've seen him rolling the hay, With his wiinkled brow and his locks all gray! And I almost worshipped him when he smiled And, patting my cheek, blessed his little grandchild. But years rolled on, and his fire went out, His energies failed, and ho scarce went about, Yet oft from hit reveries would ho awake, And tell of his prowess with the old farm rake. Choice, favorite, tool 1 thou hast seen much repair, As others are wont, for their wear and tear. Full many a head aye, stalo and bow, Thou liasi had alt new, as the truth would show; Bui then, what of tnat7 There, sure, cannotbe A possible doubt of thy identity. Thou art still the same, my horse I'll stake, ) My good, good grandfather's old farm rake. "Its past I 'tis past I and his days are done ; We all hnvo seen his setting sun. How often down in yonder field, This implement I havo seen him wield. Ah I call mo a dunce, or what you will, Yet I'm of the same opinion still, And I love it still for my grandfather's sake ; I venerate ever the old farm rake. Fiom the Ladies World of Fashion. THE BELLE OF RANK. BY MRS. C. K. POWNELL Brother,' said Isabella Molville, 'who was that outlandish creature 1 saw you with in Main street yesterday ? I moan the girl in the plain, while silk bonnet, and drab dress, that looked as if it had onco been on a mummy.' Oh, you mean Emily Payne, I supposo, for sho docs not dress as a lino lady like you would.' k. And who is Emily Payne ? Your washer-woman or her daughter V said Isabella, with a toss of her head. 1 Neither,' replied Alfred, with a quiet smile, looking his sister in the face, she is the daughter of a reduced family, and lives with her widowed mother. They have here tofore resided in one of the northern counties lived in a log hut I believe but have now como to Cincinnati, where they talk of open ing a millinery shop. I can promise them your custom, I suppose,' continued the broth ,cr with a provokingly quiet smile, as if he foresaw the horror, which his fashionable sis ter would entertain at tho idea of employing such a person for a milliner. Nor was ho disappointed. ' My custom !' replied the indignant Isa bella, 'indeed you have odd notions if you think such a fright is capable ol making my dresses. Tho idea is preposterous, and I Veg you will never mention it again. She .llluj J i- wpply llio witba ulltl iluuglitcia of day laborers. Out how in the name of com mon sense, did you become acquainted with her ? Iam shocked at you for walking with her in the street !' ' I met her last year when I was traveling to tho lakes. You know I was thrown from my horse, and confined three weeks from tho injuries. Through that illness Emily Payno was my nurse; I think even you will admit that I owe her somo gratitude,' and ho spoke with deep feeling. To be sure, to bo sure no one ques tions it. You ought to get her recommend ed about, though don't you see how indeli cate it is for you to do it personally 1 I'll mention it to the housekeeper, and tell her to send all the servant girls there. Now that I'll do no thanks, but, for morcy's sake don't bo seen walking the streets with such an antediluvian relic of a woman, or I shall bo forced not to recognize you,' and Isabella sailed from tho room in all the dignity of a lady patroness, imagining that her brother was grateful of course for tho customers she had promised to send to Emily Payne, Alfred stood looking out into tho street from the window until her retreating foot steps had died on tho hall stairs, when he burst into a hearty laugh. My good sis V he said, 'one cannot help smiling at her weakness. She is all for fash ion, aristocracy, and the other jargon of the silly portion of her sex. Poor Emily, you will have a hard judge in her when we aro married. But faith! a thought had struck mo, and I'll see what can be done. I'll out wit Isabella yet, and make her love her new sister-in-law past all description,' and with a face glowing with his new project, he seized his hat and hurried Irom the house, Isabella had an excellent heart, but had one weakness tho pride of birth and fash ion.- Sho sought no ono's acquaintance un less they camo recommended by a coat of arms, or the tame ot the ball-room, tier brother was totally dissimilar in this respect; regarded no distinctions except those of mer it ; and was as willing to shake hands with the honest laborer as with a millionaire or the son of a duke. On this subject tho broth er and sister could never agree : and con eequently when Alfred met with the accident to which no auuaca, and was carried to the louse of Mrs. Payne insensible, where he renamed until well, and whero ho learned to love her daughter, charmed by her thou sanl good qualities, ho said nothing on tho subnet to Isabella. Airea soon reacnea tno numDio dwelling nf Mtt. Pnvnn. and in n mnmnnl ivnc eiltinrr , - j I .. w . - fa by tho lido of his betrothed. Wo will not pause to describe hebcauty, it was striking and unr'mlled ; though half destroyed by the plain ild fashioned dress which sho wore. and which certainly did merit a portion of Isabella's aithoma. out tlion Lnnly had al ready had to strugglo with tho world and poverty, and ie distanco which sho lived irdra the city wire sufficient reasons, in the eyos'of her lover, for her costumo. Ho had determined, howovtr, that sho should no Ion- irar An injustice to IlDsalf. I have a favor to art of vou. dear Emi Jy he said taking hersrmll hand in his, and "looking fondly into hor blue eyes, 'you must Want it before I tell what it is, for I will 1 pledge you there is nothing wroig m my ro nuest.' On that pledge I promise,' said Emily, i 'and now wnai is it, Aiireu i There is to bo a ball this night week tvlmre all the belles of tho city will bo path erod. My boon has relation to this ball und nfo!d first, that you go there with me sedlHly; that you wear a dress of which will select, both tho materials and tho stylo of making. No objections now you needn't shako your head mind you vo promised It's a whim of mine, and for the reasons, I'll tell them somo other time. Emily would havo argued, but Alfred playfully silenced her ; and finally sho gave him her consent to his plan. The week soon passed away. Isabella and her brother had no more conversation about the milliner; but tho sister was nnxious to know who ho intended to take to tho ball, and Alfred de termined on a deception which ho thought under the circumstances, innocent. ' Ono of tho most glorious women you ev or saw, sis a perfect godncss. Sho is a stranger of nobln birth, and will produce quite a aensation. As for tho rest 'meet me at Phillippi,' ' and ho lounged laughingly out of tho room. Isabella was now dying of curiosity to learn who this stranger might be she mado enquiries who had como to tho city, and thought it singular that she had not met this now beauty. But tho very day of tho ball she heard that the Hon. Mr. Worthington and his sister, Lady Emily Worthington, had arrived in the city, and as sho had heard her brother speak of knowing this gentleman in Europe, she concluded tho sister was to bo her brother's partner that evening. Hor suspicion was strengthened by tho knowing look her brother pot on when sho alluded to the subject at the dinner table. 1 hat night tho ball room was in a buz for the arrival of tho two distinguished straneers. At length they appeared, the brother and Al fred Melville attending tho sister, whose ex traordinary beauty anu tho richness of whoso dress attracted the mingled envy and admir ation of her sex. The Hon. Mr. Worthing ton was introduced in form, but what was singular, tho sister was presented by her christian name alone. However at the time this was not noticed ; and all strove to make tho acquaintance of so magnificent a crea ture, whoso affability equaled her beauty. iVmong tho foremost to pay court to tho stran ger was Isabella Melville, who never ceased in her praises, and, as her word was the law of a large set of fashionables, the Lady Em ily became, before the evening closed, tho acknowledged idol. Without cxageration wo may say, never had so brilliant a creature appeared in Cincinnati. ' How could you deceive me so,' said Em ily reproachfully, when Alfred took his scat by her in tho carriage, after the ball was over, 'you know I consented to do no more than go with you and dross as you pleased, ana you Know l am both unwillingly. Out I never dreamed of this imposition : indeed, indeed you havo gone too far,' and sho burst into tears, covering her face with her hands. 'Dear Emily,' said Alfred, 'forgive mc,' or at least hear my story.' Ho then related his sister's character, and tho plot ho had formed, continuing thus, 'It was only yester day that my friend Worthington came to Cincinnati. We were bosom friends in Lon don, and 1 knew he would aid mo in any thing. It struck mo that if I could present you as his sister, my triumph over Isabella would bo complete. He entered heartily in to the plot. It was kept secret from you, however, and you see how wo have succeed ed. I will take all tho blamo on myself. And now will you not forgive mo for this in- nocont trick t Whon did love, plcadinc elonuontlv. nlead in vain? Much as Emilv disnroved of the deception, sho saw no courso now but to sub mit to circumstances and award forciveness to her lover. ' What a perfect bcautv what an ancclic mco !' wero tho exclamations ol Isabella next morning at the breakfast table ; 'how sweet tho manners of Lady Emily with what a distinguished air she moves and tulks Oh ! I am in raptures with her.' ' And you really think hor Iady-hko 1 A perfect princess.' And beautiful' Why how you talk ! beautiful as Dia na.' ' And finished in manner?' A verv paragon.' 1 Do you think you could lovo her, cspc- rtallv !! it 9' ' Oh ! of all things but surely you jest.' not ai an, my sweet sis 1 am a conic to marry ner. And is it true ? Now. do vou know, in spite of all your levelino doctrines. 1 said you'd never marry any body but a lady of rank ( lor they only havo thoso graces wind: are inborn and come from blood. How magnificently sho was dressed ? Are you quito suro that her dress had no thing to do with her beauty ?' i suo wouiu nave looked the adv in any thing. I have a quick oyo for Inch birth. ' And yet,' said Alfred, with that old pro- vokingly quiet smile, 'do vou know mv uood sis, that this lady Emily was ono day seen warning wiin me, ana you caned her, simply from her dress (which) I admit was old fash ioned and not verv prettv, an outlandish antideluvian ? In short, do vou know that Liaay t,miiy and Miss l'ayno, the milliner. are ono and the same person ?' Isabella let tall the coheo cup, and starod incredulously at her brother. His quiet smile assured her that ho spoko tho truth, and at first sho was disposed to bo nngry ; but remembering that sho had committed herself in favor of her brother's partner, and percoiving how very ridiculous anger would bo under tho circumstances, she said Well Altrcd, you havo outwitted mo for once. Your betrothed is cortainlv beautiful. accomplished, and very lady-like what a auu is not reaiiy wr. worimngton's sis ter.1 ' Her birth is noblo, howevor. if that will quiet your scruples, sis, for her grandfather was a baron of tho realm. But now own how great a difference dress makns in nnr- sonal appearanco, and don't say hereafter that you have a peculiarly nuick nvn Inrlic. ccrn high birth.' Isabella, on a closo acauaintanrn will, new sister for Alfred led Emily to the altar uuiiieuiaiciy auerwara lounu no cause to change the opinion she formed on their first interview. And through tho influence of her brother and his lovolv wife, she snnn Ipnrnrrl to discard ultogethcr her ridiculous notions 1 respecting rank. TOO LATE. nv josr.nt n., esq. ' It is well,' said tho venerable man to his wife, as they sat together lato ono evening in July, 1840, ' it is well that wo discover ed tho character and habits of tho young man. beforo ho had ndvanccd farther in our esteem ; ho might clso havo inveigled our only daughter into marriage, and brought disgrace upon us, as well as misery upon our child.' ' Which would havo been misery to us too, surely,' said the wife. ' It would have been insupportable mise ry. But thank God,' continued he, raising his eyes in linnrtfclt gratitude, ' I was in formed in season to prevent my child from the disgraco of n connection with a ." 'With a what ?' said a good looking young man, bowing to a venerable pair, ' with a what, sir ? speak out now I I am your daughter's husband ; and it seems not unfit that there should bo so much confidence be tween father and son, as that tho latter should know tho opinion of the former upon his pur suits, when tho tormer knows tho relation in which each stands to the other.' ' If it is too lato to prevent tho marriaeo.' said the father It is too late.' ' Then, at least, tliouch mv richts as a fa ther may havo ceased, those of a husband and of a man arc unimpaired ; and if I can not rulo those in my houso, I can, at least, say who shall be its inmates.' ' Father, said tho bride, kncelintr. with clasped hands, ' do not cast mo from you ; give my givo him time, at least, to provo that you havo not done him justice. Mo ther, dear mother ! ' The closing of the door at the other sido of the room drew the attontion of tho sup plaint, and sho found that her husband was the only ono left with her. It was too lato. Hand in hand the newly married pair left what had been to the wife an Eden of quiet happiness. Tho stern commands of a fa ther wero there, at least, to bo obeyed ; and she was yet lo learn whether a serious act of disobedience on' her part, would ever bo forgiven by one who had seemed wrapped up in her affections whose life was appa rently entwined with her obedience. oho left that Eden then. Hand in hand the banished pair took their departure; and as the offending daughter, and confiding wife, turned back to look at tho closing door ot her paternal mansion, it seemed to her, indeed, as it somo angel, severe in awful beauty, guarded the portal nrramst her en trance to the place which sho had desecrated by filial disobedience. I Iip pruln nf Ihn now ImOiand ivae lust too much for his situation. He was anxious not only to maintain his wife independently of her family, but to givo her many of those comforts to which she had been accustomed. He could easily havo attained the former, and hnvo met all her wishes in that respect ; but his pride induced him to neglect rational means of acquiring ordinary comforts, and led him to resort to what ho deemed chances of sudden wealth. Ho had, before his mar riage, suffered in the estimation of many re spectable persons, by his associating with cer tain dashing young men, who, to their other social qualities, were supposed to add that ol londncss tor games ot hazzaru. He had amused himself in that way without pecuni ary prohts, and, by observation, had learned tno tricks ot tho art without practising thcrji upon others. Time passed onward, and tho young wife became a mother, and snv, in tho birth of her boy, a renewal of tho attentions of her husband, which, without apparent lanso of affections, certainly without other evidences of utikindncss, had been of lato pretermitted. llo had abscntod himsoll trom Ins home until a late hour at night, and had appeared hag gard and care worn. It was also obvious, that the means of support were diminished, and the wife began to feel many, very many, of her comforts curtailed. The descent was rapid, and with it the renewal of absence of her husband at night ; but no open unkind ness was exhibited, nor was their reproach on her part, unless the pale check, tho ema ciated frame, and the heart-broken sigh could bo so construed. Misery, wretchedness, absoluto want, be set the family; and the husband tore himself away lrom the bed of Ins wife and child ear ly in tho evening, with a determination to bring back to them somo means of comfort. Ho met an old friend, who informed him that a placo was vacant in an office which, with security for fidelity, would bo his. ' And who will bo that security ? ' Who? Anyone I will. I told you so two years ago.' ' Will you now, indeed ? ' Present yourself to mo to-morrow freo of debt, and 1 will insuro the place.' He was not freo from debt, but a few hun dred dollars would mako him so. Ho felt assured that a few hours at tho gaming table, tho last time ho would ever darken tho ac cursed doors, would supply him with means to pay those debts moro than that he would not receive. Ho hastened to tho place, and pausod at tho last step of tho door. ' Why should I go in ? Tho few hundred dollars which I owe, I can soon savo; and ho who, knowing my poverty, would be security for fidelity, would not think worso of my character, if I confess my indebtedness, and my determina tion novor to placo myself within the chance ot such dangers again. mi... i...- ii . i. . i iiu lusuiuiiuii so excellent relieved his heart, and he turned with now feelings to adopt a courso of virtue. It was then too late.' Ho saw, within a few yards of him, ono of mo omccrs ol tho institution in which he was to havo a place of trust. To havo turned from tho door would be to expose himself, and lie couiu not stand where ho was. Ho entered, ho played, and at midnight had won a few dollars. His ' luck had turned,' ho said ; ho ' lollowcd up tho luck.' and dav light saw him possessed of more than the do- sircd sum. Ho left the camblintr room a man of bet ter resolves than he had boon, though he had always resolved well. Ho thought of the pleasure in storo, of tho good ho would yet do, and the delights ho would yet enjoy. Tho oulor door of tho house in which he lived was open. He stolo quietly up the stairs, and gently lifted the latch of his room door. It was dark and still. The child at length moved. He felt that his wifo had oc casion to complain of his long absence, but tho joy of his hoart was to make her under stand the now resolution ho had formed, and tho means ho now possessed of carrying it into effect. Ho called her by name she did not answer. Ho felt that his nev intentions deserved moro kindness. He called her again, but in vain. Ho then opened a win dow shutter, and the light of thn morning poured full upon the face of his infant. Ho went to the bed to awaken his wife. Ho la!J his hand upon her arm and its icy dull ness struck to his heart. Ho threw himself upon tho bed, and groaned in angUsh. The crying of tho child called somo of tho ten ants of the houso to the room. Tho Coroner's aid was demanded ovr the dead body of the wife. The verdict of llio jury was, Died o! the visitation of Hod, but ono or two thought that distress had weakened her framo so much, that the aixi ety and cares, tho now feelings of suspicion, or tho sense of utter abandonment that night, had been too much. Her heart broke vith its over freight. Tho prido of tho injured father at length yielded, and with quiet efforts, he traced out the residence of his daughter. Determined to meet her at moro than half way towards reconciliation, he came juit as her husband had nwnkencd to a sense of his misery. It is ' too late,' said tho latter, and pointed to the bed. The pomp of n funeral did not intuit the wretchedness of the living, or the emiciated form of the dead. Tho grave is on the very verge of the western declivity of Laurel Hill. There is no stono to tell whoso heart moulder; there. Why should thoro be ? What lessor, could it teach ? Ho whoso reformation was almost begun beforo her death, tried tho path of virtue af terwards, but it was too Into.' Ho had resolved to reform for the siko of his wife, and not for the sake of virtue U. S. Gazette. From tho Knickerbocker for Starch, 1943 THE SEA-BOV'S FAIIEWEU. Wait, wait, ye winds I till I repeat A parting signal to the f!ect Whose station is at home: . Then waft the sen-boy's simple prayer, And let it oft be whispered there, While in far climes I ream. Farewell to Father I reverend hulk .' In epite of incul spllr ofbulk, Soon may his cnblo slip i Yet whilo thopattingtear is mois', Tho flag of gratitude I'll hoist, III duty to the ship. Farewell to mother! "first class ' she! Who launched me on life's storm set, And rigucd me fore and aft ; JIny Providence her timbers spate, And keep her hull in good repair, To tow the smaller craft. Farewell to Sister ! lovely yacht I But whether she'll bo " manned "ornot, I cannot now foresee. May some good ship a " lender " prove. Well found in sl'jrsaof truth and love, And taltt her under lec. Farewell to George I the jolly bonl t And all the little crifi afloat In home's delightful bay : When they nrrivo at sailing age, May wisdom give the weather gorge, And guide tlicm on their way. Farewell to all on life's rude maitil Perhaps we ne'er shall meet again, Through stressof stormy weathers Hut summoned by the Hoard abore, We'll harbor in the port of love, And all bo moored together. From the National Intelligencer. HYMENEAL STATISTICS. The last Lancaster Examiner furnishes us, in a tabular form, somo highly interest ing tacts as to tho population of that part of rcnnsyivania, taken in relation to tho bles sed state of matrimony ; of which word, by-thc-by, tho latter half is, now-a-diys, too of ten almost all that is made any account of mat nan ueing thought moro valuable than the whole. The Examiner divides population exact ly according to tho female plan of drawing up a census ; that is, it ranges every body into two groat orders the married and the unmarried ; a mode of division which, wo take it, there is hardly any young lady who will not easily comprehend. it procoeds to state the wholo number of married people in that country as 31,298, in cluding, wo presume, that class of " wid ows " (like the wife of Bopo) who, for the time being, are tethered in that knot tied by me tongue wmcn tne tenth cannot unloose. Of this number it estimates the entire sum of thoso who havo married for love as 2, 350 ; a proportion certainly very large, and which wo know not how to explain, unless Lancaster bo a county in which there lingers a very primitive slate of the manners, or whero there is a very great lack of money ; or, lastly, it estimates all thoso as " love matches " whero there is lovo on either side. But if this computation exhibits some de cline of ono virtue, tho next fad displays largo compensating accessions of another and far moro useful one that of prudence ; for the number of those who havo preferred a nuptial benediction pronounced by Plutus to one lisped by love is no less than 18,974. Such being the multitudo of those who, in this tender connexion, have thought that what is denominated "tho main chance," or " tho quills," and makes " the pot boil," and " tho mare go," should bo chiefly look ed to, tho Examiner finds yet another class, who are happier still, and who. indeed, have copibincd iii their wedlock a quantity of bliss rather excessive for an v mortal lot : we mean those who have been ablo to marry both for lovo anu tor money ; ol whom tho number is no less than 8,144, Whether, however, the two elcmonls have entered oqually into these matches, or whether they havo boen mado out of a little love and much monoy, the Ex aminer neglects to inform us. In addition to these classes, it has ascer tained yet another : of those who have mar ricd noithor from passion nor for pelf, but out of curiosity. Of these, tho returns give just 1,530. But as this is a motive which operates very unequally upon tliu two sexes, we presume that these arc marriages in which I tin mnlaa ttntfn linnn vina! nt Lit I. miw iiinioa HUTU uuuil ja99IVC VII MUVU UISU been led by that lovo of the untried, which now manifests itself in the masculine busi ness of politics, and have got married, as sub-treasuries and the like aro set un. liv wn v of experiment. 1 horo may bo others who havo rushed in- tn this claln nf fntii asked, or did not know what to do withthem- -t c 1 . 1 .... . suivcs, or icarea to uo still worse, or Knew not how " to bear tho ills they had," or mar ried becauso tllOV were rrettinn nlrl. nr vpt again becauso they wero young, or (as the coroner's juries say) "in a state of mental alienation, or, in snort, lor reasons which nobodv cmilfl nvnr ftivinn Tlm.n mnt. J - - .llbtu .llujr , 1.U say, bo other classes of causes : but tho four -I... J . I ! I. . . un vuuy cnurncrmcQ emoraco an out tne mere anomalies. Well, tho result, as very exact ly arrived at, is, of happy matches, just 16 : Which makes nrecisnlv frinr aninrn fnr !!(-1. of tho great divisions of the roll. it is.nowcver, consolatory to see that thoro nrO 5.(l0fl who urn InloroMt, li.hno.ll that is, have fortitude enough neither to hang uur urown nor run away, or whom Uhristian patienco and the thought of a better world supports. Besides thoso favored mortals, thoro appear to be 8,404 who aro " haDPV at times" possihlv when astecn. or nwav from home, or if they are deaf or their spouso dumb, fir Slir.ll nc nrn cnl-iinr tn r. f ..n.n- lepsy or other visionary states that at times iiiuuijn uvlt iiu real, Chcerfull as all tho preceding fads are, wo COme nOW. howrvnr. to thn muni-en nf itin picture, tho wrong sido of the tanestrv. No mortal happiness is perfect. Wedlock itself has its occasional crosses. Adam and Eve are said to have their tiffs beforo they moved out of naradise nnd Incited n I. in iimn somewhere on the Euphrates. Milton prais es marriage, but is known to havo boon much I I. 1 y i . nuii-pecKcu. owpcr also expatiates upon its delights; but, dying a bachelor, must havo taken them only upon report. And Campbell, whilo courting, wrote somo very pretty things on tho samo score, but lived to marry a shrew. In short, there must be some unluckv marrinirnc. if f.,r n1. j fa 1, ..Willing CISD merely to make tho other sort conscious of uiuir own oxiacies, or tor the puposo ot fur nishing exceptions enough to show that it was impossible to be married without being at the very summit of unvarying enjoyment. Thus it has, by this admirablo and accurate statistical inquiry, boen demonstrated that there aro in tllO COUntV nf T.nnraetnr nmn rather ill-sorted matches, not exactly an swering the description of being " made in nuuvuii , m a wora, i,nz(i spouses who are ft C .1 .. II .1 1 I'l.Tiutiij (iiiscrnoie. Wo come next to the results of wedlock in sense which mnv lm r.illl n,.iii: litical ; that is, governmentally : and it has uccn mo county or Lancaster, that out of tho 15,640 cases by tho wife while thoro are just nine husbands who aro pcr- millCU to wear that irnrmnnt u l.irli nnu - B" ... ...... uiiv iiiusi not name in thopresonce of ladies, but to the possession oi which tuey all aspire. So much for thn tnnrrinrl nnn. fnr it. . , ..un IUI luu un- happy persons who have not yet joined that t, i.i i j uiu.isuu kuuiiianie. Of unmarried adults nf bntl, enrno tn caster tho whole number is not quite equal to half that of the married ; a disproportion which can only bo accounted for by the vio lent spirit of imitation which the sight of so many examples of matrimonial enioyment must produce. Seeimr tins. It t mil n wonder that anv bodv romnina cinaln tlinrn n bit longer than is necessary for tho prelimin ary operations in white satin, eggs, flour, su gar, and rOSC Colored nnil cr-nnlnrl nntnc with Cupids adown the margin and peeping iiu. H uiu lurnurs. i nere are, it seems, just 14,181 unmarried folks. Of this number, no small part is, however, kept up bv that INCOrrifnltln nrt. Imnt nnnn being unhappy, the old bachelors, of which guilty kind of people there are no less than 6,783, a painful and appalling amount of hu man wo, certainly. But it is at least a com fort to see that there is a far less sum of this self-inflicted wretchedness, or moro virtue, or moro sense, or moro of the marrvinn nrn pensity (jollier that spring from love or iiiunuy; among tne soiter sex, or thattho con sumption of wives is swifter than that of hus bands, or that the demand and supply of the former commodity aro moro justly balanced. u auuii, mure are out iorty-mne old maids, each, of course, with an attendant cat or oar- rot. Of VOUnrr In (lifVC nf nil nrrr.a ilia rlnim nf ui wnuin io umi distinction stands up- un mo urm ground ot length of titlo or pro scription or number is given as 6,600. That of widows is while the disconsolate of the other sex amount to 309. SUCh is tllO nifirn miKtnr.rnll nr llio French books on the Art Milimrv rail lm personnel, in this anciont warfare, always nut a uttio latai, even when least bloody. To describo tho moro active operations the marchings and counter-marchings, tho feints, the surprises, the coups de main, tho sieges, the blockades, the ments, tho downright assaults, tho routs, the retreats, the minim? and counter.mininir. dm calling in of auxiliary forces of mothers, aunts, ana cousins, tno parks ol eye-artillery, the musketry of closer fight, the hand-to-hand work when it comes to tho actual push of tho bayonet, the siehs. the vows, tho knCelinPS. tllO lAnrfl- nr nt Ion llin nnf.lfo- haiidkerchiefsthat stand for them ; and then tne smues more or less bewitching, the skil ful repulses, the languishings, tho well-managed disdain, the seeming involuntary squecz- .1 II ...J:.l r .1 ill us, llio wuil-siuuicu CUIIIUSIOIlS, 1110 UIUSI1CS made by holding the breath, tho ambuscades r if r. , i . . oi smaii mvors, ana tno last ruinous victory of the oxtorted kiss all this would be long, not to speak of the machiavelism of confi dantes and waiting-maids, and the final di plomacy of those who draw deeds of settle- 1 ...... C I 1 1 .i . mum auu musi. ou, io siionon an IIIIS, wo must conclude with thn fnllniv! nn fAlnrn nf fatalists, etc., in a tabular form : .-- iiumoer oi voune men now coins rnnrtino. in Lancaster, 2,350 Of which, have actually nocDcd thenucitlan , and been tccented. 630 unio. ana oeen relused, 25 Number who are anxious to non thn mention but can't acrew up their courage, 1,610 Number who have been jilted, 65 Number hunting fortunes, 2,319 Number of confirmed old haehtlort. HM Of which arc not worth having, Bt5 Of which would do, aa a last rcnorl, G Number of widowers who wish to marry again, 4 Number of widows do do 306 Number otvtmntrlailUa whn nra in thn mnrUet. fi.fiin Of which have actually had oilers, 65.', Of which waiting in dreadful auspenso, l.filO Of which conclude to accept, 1,009 ui wnicn win at k ner motner, l Number of young females in market, with " metallic charma." 147 Of which hold bank stock, EO Of which will heir n smnll farm each. 47 Of which have money atintercat, 40 numoer oi young ladict qualified to make nood wives. G,G19 Of which would darn their husband's stock- ing", , 550 Of which skilful in astronomy, 5,830 Of which learned in the lamrnaffes. 4.73S Of which ahlo to spell their own names, 502 Of which know how to waltz, 4,300 Of which know how to make a pudding, 1,760 Of which know how lo uso a spinning-wheel, 40 Of which know how to spend their husband's money, u,ti4M Hero is a 1 Lancastorian school ' to which our fair younc readers will, wo aro sure, bo ready to go. UNITED STATES vs. WILLIAM GIBBS. Indictment for stealing "one Ham of uacon, ana ctiarsinitit as a second of r . . . fence of the prisoner. 1st IVifnesi I cartv bacon to market to sell, and had some on my stall when this hero little boy tip's and tolls me Vounsel Never mind what the boy told you. 1st Witness Well, as I was savins this horo littlo boy that is I I can't tell it no othor way th Vounscl Visirict Attorney Court Never mind what he told you. 1st Witness tboltintr it out) that lis hero Bill Gibbs had stolo ono of my hams, and ho saw him take it. I can't tell it no other way, and (to tho District Attorned that's the reason I wanted him to tell his talo first. District AttornevYcrv well: let him tell his talc first. Boil I was standin? in the mnrUnt. and I saw this hero Bill Gibbs walk up to that 'ere gentleman's bench and take ono of his hams of bacon, and clap it under his cloak, and slip away. And 1 goes and tells him. Uounsel, sutto voce : That's rather sus- picious. Were you near enough to bo suro it was uni ( Boy Oh yes, sir, I'm sure it was him. Counsel Aro you sure it was a ham of bacon I Boy Why. I reckon it was. sir : it look ed like ono. Counsel (brightening up a little) -Arc you sure a was not a snouiacr ( Boy (looking doubtful) I don't know, sir. Counsel Very well. Tho othor witnes ses can tcll,us whether it was'nt a shoulder in disguise. 1 TIT', It . . . . .. xsi tvuness recauca Well, as i was saying, I had the bacon ; there was four shoulders cut round Counsel Ah ! It was a shoulder then 1 Witness Never mind if it gras : if it .... i . . were cut rouna iiko a nam. and lie never know'djhp difference. He stole it for a ham, anViow. Counsel Mr. Attorney I think that's a dead shot. Tho prosecution has committed suicido, and the only verdict the jury can render is yelo de sc, against it. Mistnct Attorney That's not so certain. Counsel I suppose your honor cannot doubt upon the point. Tho prisoner might as well be convicted of stealing the District Attorney's spectacles upon this indictment for stealing a ham, as to be convicted of stealing a shoulder; Tho charge is ham the proof is shoulder, and with middling luck the prisoner ought to be able lo save his bacon. District Attorney, (openine Johnson's dic tionary) Dr. Johnson defines ham to be 'the hinder part of the articulation oj the thigh ; tho thigh of a hog salted.' Tho grand jury do seem rather to have transcended this de finition, and I suppose I must send up anoth er indictment. It shall bo largo enough (thouch it is rather a bore) to so the whole hog against Master Gibbs; and we'll see if he can shoulder that. Lnter a nolle prose qui. And so the accused 'saved his bacon. Nat. Int. A Systematic Giiil. Mr. Bourne, in a lecturo at tho Farmer and Mechanic Jubilee at Bridgwater, Mass., humorously illustrated the following advantages ol method and or der, by giving an account of somo domestics of his hiring. He onco hired a very smart girl; sho was ever on the go from early dawn to bed time. After a few years the girl as girls often will, found a husband, and quilted earning wages, and Mr. B. was obli ged to niro another, nut sno was so metho dical and apparently so slow, his wife was of the opinion she did not earn her wages. Truo she did all the work and had sparo time, but she did not seem doing much. Ho one day watched her progress and found that every movement was like clock-work no missteps were taken ; after the fire was made every kettle was properly adjusted, and ev- ory dish was ready at the proper time. Tho table was set while dinner was cooking ev ery thing had its place, and there was not a lacking article at dinner. Thcro was no blusterinp, and hurrying, and fretting, and skipping, to show out activity ; but every thing was quietly perlormcd in order and in season. On noticing accurately her mode of doing business Mr. B. and his wife were both of the opinion this was the most valua ble help ho had hired. This led him to see how some farmers lost lime. They would hurry to a distant field, and soon find tliuy had left somo important tool behind ; a boy must be sent tor it, and the men must sit and wait. An innuisitive country trentleman thus ac. costed a boy who was tending pigs: "Boy' whoso pigs are those 1" "The sow'f sir," was the prompt reply. "Well, then, whom sow is it!" "Fathers," ;'Well, well, who is your lamer r "it you win minu me pigs, t wtii run home and ask my mother." " Papa, arc the hogs sick that go to Cincin nati! Jt'cfc .'" "No, child, why do ynu ask 1" "Becauso the papers say they are cured there.' THE MILLER DELUSION. Wo feel bound to communicate to our readers the developments of Millerism, how ever mortifying and painful they may be. We do not, of course, give heed to all tho re ports of absurdities and follies, growing out of this unaccountable delusion, which we hear, and which nro coining to us every day through tho newspapers. Such statements as thn fol lowing, which appear lo bo well authentica ted, cannot and should not be kept from the public eye. Christians should ponder them well : Er.cvr.N insano persons have been com mitted to tho Stato Hospital in Worcester for derangement, represented by their friends as resulting from attendance on the lectures of the Miller seel, and u deep interest in his theories and doctrines. Many others havo been presented, who, with other religious anxieties, havo had their fears excited upon this subject. Worcester Algis. No less than four maniacs were brought to tho hospital in this place Inst week, from ono town, who were mado insano by tho Miller dolusion. Augusta Me.) Banner. We regret to learn that the domestic con cerns of several families in this city aro dis turbed by Millerism, that the property is be ing wasted, and r comfortless ago insured to some, by a miserable reliance, on the part of tho active members of the family, upon tho assortion that the world will bo destroy ed next monlh. This strange infatuation is inttucncmg all tho conduct, and all tho conversation, of the victims, and will proba bly result itt settled insanity. Boston Re corder. To Prescrve Flowers Fresh. Procure a flat dish of porcelain, in which pour water, and place a vase of flowers; over the vase place a bell-glass with its rim in tho water. This Is similar to a ' Ward's case ' in principle, 'although different in construction. The air that sur rounds the flower being confined beneath the bell-glass, is constantly moist with water that ri.cs into it, in tho form of vapor. As fast as the water becomes condensed, it runs down the sides of the bell-glass into the dish; and if means be taken to enclose the water on the out side of the bell-glass, so as to prevent its evapo rating into the air of the sitting-room, the at mosphere around the flowera will remain con tinually damp. This plan is designated the Hopean apparatus.' Tho experiment may bo tried on a small scale, by inserting a tumbler over a rose-bud, in a saucer of water. lie is a public benefactor who, by the prudent and skilful outlay of his time and money, shall makp a single field yield pel manently a double rrop ; and ho who does this over a square mile, virtually adds a square mile to the national terri tory nay, he does more : he doubles to this ex tent the territorial resources of the country, without giving the state any larger territory to defend. All hail, then, to the improvers of the Soil! Health finrt InnfT Mfa hn tlioi- fnrtitnn . may their hearts be light and their purses heavy, may muir urcains dc icw ana picasant, ana meir sleep the sweet repose of the weary may they see the fruits of their own labor, and may their sons reap still heavier harvests. Blackwood's Magazine. Punctuality Method is tho very hinge of business and there is no method without punc tuality. Punctuality produces calmness of mind : a disorderly man is always in a hurry ; he has no time to speak to you, because he is going elsewhere, and when he gets there, he is too late for his business ; or he must hurry away to another before hn ran finiah it Piit..fu.ilit gives weight to character. " Such a man has iiiuuu un appointment j anu l Know lie will l;eep it." 7hiR Cnnvirtinn irnnnrnloa nnnrhiiliw . you ; for, like other virtues, it propogates itself. Appointments become debts. 1 owe you punc tuality, if I havo made an appointment with you, and have no right to throw away your time, if I do my' own. Punctuality in paying the printer, is a shining virtue, and is one of the requisites to the character of a good member of tho coin- iiiuiinj-. oeiicmu. The Spider. Souir t!mr firm nc n rront la ma n was laboring on one of the wharves in this town, in- uujcivcu a i;in;e spiuer on a cinp noating on the water near the whirf. The tide was set ting out of the harbor, and tho wind blowing di. rCCtlv On shore. Thf cnMpr hai'mir mna in n. side of the chip and then to another, found, after surveying his situation, his further retreat cut ofl", and placed himself in the centre of his frail bark. In a very short time the tide had carried the chip with the spider near to tho cornorpilo of the wharf, and finding that the chip would soon drift bevond the niln. thn ed, without joss of time, spinning a web. The mil.-m ui ins ivuu were lonunateiy mown Dy the wind against tho pile, and firmly adhered to it. As soon as he had succeeded in this attemnt the sihder pulled in the chip and landed in safe ty. IMgartown, (Mass.) March, 19. A Touch of Nature. There is a touch of n.iturn in tliR fnllnivinn firt tho, every human heart. An invetorate fogue, on the eve of execution nut Worn rnnfoocn.I ,1... WW fcWSIIEJ0Vl4- tlsub he had refused lo correct an error in the spell- iuj; ui mo naiiit; in mis maicimeiit, lor the reason tllSt llis DOOr old irmthnr mirrlit nnrn- bnni,, tl,. it was her son who had suffered a felon's death. i nero is something beautiful m this, and it SOrVeS tO sllOlV that tlm lioart nf ,n-n ilil. I. . ...w ..ww.hui ...u.i, aillluuuil dying with the blackest crime, may still be bus. tntitiMn nftUn l.nKA .: .. .... --r iiuiiua. uiuuuuMH ui uur uaiuro A'. Y. I'lebian. Good Advice If Vntir lnat la f-mfnrt.MA wear it two or three months longer ; no matter If the gloss is off". If you have no wife, get one ; if you have, God bless hor, stay at home with her, instead of spending your evenintrs in ex. pensive fooleries. De honest, frugal, plain seek contentment and happiness at home be iiiuuniriuui ana persevering, and our word for it. if VOU arc in debt vou will snnn hcramo ...... no matter who may be President, or what may UU tHC UUbU Ul btUL'HS. That "limo and twin tvaita fnr nn :- 1 I IV, ..U Mini, IO Droved bV one James Ilnllinsnn. utm aitin.,i.n. in an luwa nannr n Tiau lifnu T... u 1. " . r-l j J ywfc ivi a uil-abll ol promise, sho having united herself to a young Doctor after agreeing to marry him in twelve months. Moderate Dmnkikg Old n having drunk nine mugs of cider at a neighbor's rmiio nnn Autminm' .L I ..uu.u uub uiciimu, uuhervru upon rising to leave, " I believe, neighbor T, I'll take a leetU more of your cider. I lovo good cider as well as any body, but as for swilling it down as some people do, I never could." A man told his Irish servant to wake him at six o clock. Pat waked him at four obscmnu, mat -ne came to ten mm lie had two hours yet ,to sleep."

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