Newspaper of The Washington Standard, December 29, 1866, Page 1

Newspaper of The Washington Standard dated December 29, 1866 Page 1
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tt ashing! on »k v » |p , . ... '*BgE "*"5 '* \ '• 'f » • .a - 4 - *»- \ >: th W" % * I 7»R?«nk«. • .1-Vvl'. r»r l». » •• r fw. f M * % - • myi— •. r- u g l-j . pf. • t%. p *, ~p\ i- t * I»t pjvtnilM r.it ». OFKIC'K—t" »ru r»( Si-ran* and \Va«hington •trrft«,iicar the *t«Miubont I ituling. How TO 1:1: I xilAl'i'Y. — In the first place, if you want to bo miserable, be xelfisliT Think all the time of yourself and your own things. ]>o not care about anybody else having toolings for any one but yourself. Never think of enjoying the satisfac tion of seeing others happy; but rather, if you see a smiling face, be jealous, lest another should enjoy what you have not. Knvy every one who is better off, in any respect, than vourself; think unkindly to wards them and speak ill of them, lie constantly afraid others may en croach upon your rights; be watch lul against it," and if any one comes near your things, him like a mad dog. Contend earnestly tor everything that is your own, though it rn;iv not be worth a dime , tor your *• rights" are just as muMi concerned as it it were a pound of gold. Nev er yield a point. He very sensitive, and take everything that is said to playfulness in the most seri ous "manner. lie jealous of your friends lest they should not think enough of you. And if at any time they shouid seem to neglect you, put the worst construction upon their conduct vou can. SNOW AND MOSQUITOES. —TIM manner in which geographical dis tance, as well as time, is annihilated by the magnetic telegraph is well brought out by a circumstance that happened on Monday night last, along the line which tretohes from Cape Breton, an extreme British province, to New Orleans. There was something in tho condition of the atmosphere that night which en abled the line to work to unusual advantange, and the operators at the extreme euds indulged for a while in some jocular conversation. The fol lowing are two of the messages sent, and they will show that not only were space and time annihilated, but even opposite seasons were brought together. Sydney, Cape Breton, to New Orleans—" come good. Glad to hear from sunny New Or leans. It's snowing hard here." New Orleans to Sidney—" It's quite sultry to-night.. We are fighting Mosquitoe*. Your connection was govfd at Mobile. IU*TI> Tut-.—Tl»e«e trw wr mamor. all over tbe Ka*t IIHIK>. at >4 to »ork a »ti* <h» tk»«*r attain tint <a*»r trar iarm* a aiMT«r f«r •« n M«ri( T ae Largest U«rat |iw l* t » W «wa !M Mlti< *4 Ar Mfl»ift -TV Faffcaa. m « *- 11 ian ta» «w fjiiliii l «* Or tmr m fltortaaar ♦%» mrwmmmt •«• *~~wr~ > i.*** 1 ». mm* tm r""*c aaßa«<ta» tar wmm m • «*-• ■Ow* 1 mm*** aw MM UNBMP 4MT A 'TMHPMAAWR *«MV «R A» - »•»< •«. •»» 4P» *»- •Ml* MMln-% «4f ft ►" iktfr * ««* *4 ft*ia» .4<«k * mat % <*•" Jtt C-" •'• 4 % * Jft"? I* trftcM «•- j! - j» *-«•- Tkri- •; r*l T* o*i«j*r»v- It -j rxttfuliiJ it* «!« timt. II hj-o burned. Kiit: <■ •••>ii«umo»l i !i" fir'-' wa» i ii«* |>ri»jjre»» «»t under. the devouring clement was ar rested. Man 1011. Individual was precipitated. A horse and wag- A vain able horte on rail against. attached to a ve hicle driven bv * J. S., in the em ployment of J. li., collided with The frightened The infuriated horse. animal. Sent for the doc- Called into re tor. quisition the services ot the family physician The mayor of the The chief magis city in a short trate of the ine speech welcomed tropolis, in well chosen and elo* quent language, frequently inter rupted by the plaudits of the surging multitude officially tendered the hospitalities. I shall say a few I shall, with your words. permission, beg leave to offer some brief obser vation. lJogau his answer. Commenced his rejoinder. A bystander ad- One of those om vised. nipresent charac ters who, as if in pursuance of some previous arrangement, are certain to hb en countered in the vicinity when an accident occurs, ventured the sug gestion. He died. He deceased, he tig* There is in Pekin a "House with Chickeu Feathers." where househ'M vagabond* may sleep for one mill (the teuth part of a cent) a i* CIIVMWI two or ihrc*' fwt thick « ith ritrkfn feiithcr* The ni«toiß cr« arr into thi« ball ami Tak* the fir«» p'.arr th*r ran ; r in tic f ~r* *• it tLe- in wa?<rr AH and U 11. » s»e |<r tme*. l-tfjfffawr I f-r tL>- ion* U4 ' »mjr' a ■" a» k* #w'tf fta* M*i "■■ t»« jM>nw> wi. • arm aa» •» Ml » '*• » **» Cfc I * tiifllftuP ll * *iT *f>tl I»«CMW WII - 2 passed out of ex istence, his spirit quitted its earthly habitation, wing ed its way to eternity, shook ott'its burden,etc. i.-f « i-ti f f»f i * • m w 9-* *f % * ff •f i« l I /ill it %• _ k i'l'.iu. kU | JMMWf | m , MTIWKKBi i t I 4 • I sa«|i 5241«7 • 7 S •»••«*• S 8 7 8 ••••IIS I it II it IS 14 if 14 If It 17 IS •• IS IS 14 IS 14 17 !•' »« (4 (7 It it »Sl 90 Si SB SB St SI SS IS SO Si SB S3 St 26 22 23 2; S5 St S7 SB 87 SB St SO SI Si 27 SS St SO 3i 2» X. FTBgQJUnr. JUKE- OCTOBPL - Bl T - Tw. I*4. Tha IrW «al. *•» la. Tar. »««. Tk*. 14. *•!. %aa Tat *r4. TW (fM. M. 12 I I 2 3 4 S 3 4 &• 6 7 8 0 2346678 6780 IO II IS IO II 12 13 14 16 16 O IO II 12 13 14 15 13 14 16 16 17 IS 19 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 20 21 22 23 24 26 26 24 26 26 27 28 23 24 25 2C 27 28 29 27 28 29 30 31 , ' ; ' •••• so •••• I MARCH. JUL*. NOVEMBER. || ;_: H ( > I Saß. I lon. | Tue. ' Wed. I Tliu. Frid.' Sat. Sun. Hon. Tar. Wed. J Tliu. Frid. Sat. ! Sun. *<>n. ■ Tur. Wed. j Thn. , I rid. Sat. J [ ~ " ~i~ ~\~J 2!~ ~7 ~~2 j 3 4,51 ~6' "j. •. •|• .•.••••• I 2 J 3 4 6 6 7 8 9 7 8 O: IO I I 12 13, 3 4 6 6| 7 8 0<; IO II 12 13 1416 16 14 16 16 17 18 19 20 10 II 12 I3j 14 16 IS;; 17 18 10 20 21 22 23 21 22 23 24 26 26 27 17, I8 { 19 20 21 22 23 24 26 26 27 28 29 30 28 20 30 31 . . ; . ■ | 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 , 31 j ■ , - , l ••••! •'•'l ■■■• vl';;!;'-' ■■■■i.-.-l---- APRIL. J AUCUST. Ii DECEMBER. jj Ron. 1 Boa. | Tie. | Wed. I Tha. | Krld. | Sat. Run. 1 Hon. Tap. Wrd. | Thn.' Frid. 1 Sat. | j Sun. , Stun.! Tur. j Wed. j Thu. Frid., Sat. { J :~| i; 2 3 4 5 6 •••• I 2 3: I j 2, 3j 4j 6 6 7;| 71 8 O 10' II 12 13 4 6 6 7 8, 910 ! 8 0, 10, 11 jl2 13 I4j; 14 16! 16 17 18 10 20i II 12 13 14 16 16 17 15 16 17, IB { 10 20 21 j> 21 22123 24 26 26 27 18 10 20 21 22 23 24 22 23 24 2520 27 28.; 28 20; 30 ••••• ' 25 26 27 28 20 :30:31 29 90; 31 j -^jj ■ 1.,-. j -i-j-i n i.i.Tij ~u ino j«j33ujo3i j J jjjjaoaoaajojaaooaoi l PARISIAN AUCTIONS— llow CON. DUCTED. —The French mode of con-; ducting mictions is curious. In sales of importance, such as of land, ' houses, etc, theattair is placed in the hands of a notary who, for the time being, becomes an auctioneer. The, properity, whatever bo its nature, | is usualy first examined by compe tent judges, who fix upon it a price, considerable less than its value, but: always sufficient to prevent any ruin ous loss by a concerted plan or com bination of bidders. The property is then ottered, conformably to previous notice, with this fixed valuation

statod. The notary-auctioneer is j provided with a number of small wax tapers, each capable of buruinsr three or five minutes. As soon as a bid is made one of these tapers is placed in view of all the interested parties and lighted. If before it expires another bid is offered it is immediately ex tinguished and afresh one placed in its stead, and soon until one flicker* and dies of itself, when the last bid j becomes irrevocable. Th*is simple plan prevents all contention among rival bidders, and affords each a re son able opportunity for reflection before making • higher otter than bis predeceaaor. liv this mean*, too. tbeauctioreer i« prevented from ex-' ervtaing undue influence u|>on tbe (•Hitler*, or ha*tl» accepting the I <»f a favontr. It alao *ave« bint truss 4txi4ia( between two |ort«i«aiii j -tatßmtimg Liawlf fen W tbe firti— a* it am fcnait e%w4ret3_i Ur: -rr tbe ■Mf-r rtjum. arfco the * J par MM rraiki k* ' T>l VMH Wk ON* MK nr"-"' VHv * tmm «*Nh» 4MMMb Kol: THK YUAR A. R 1-iT. ])O.\'T BK EXTRAVAUANT. —The fol lowing from an exchange is well worth remembering. It. contains so much truth, that \ve extract it for the benefit of our readers : 44 If the poor house lias any ter rors for you, never buy what yon don't want. Before you pay three cents for a jewshurp, my' boy, ascer tain whether you cannot makojust as pleasant a noise by whistling, lor which nature furnishes the machine ry; and, before you pay seventy dol lars for a coat, young man, find out whether your ladv would not bo just a < glad to see you in one that cost hulfthe money. If she would not, let her crack her own hazle-nuts, and buy her own clothes. When you see a young man spending two or .three dollars a week foolishly,'the chances arc fivo to one that he'll live long enough to know how many cents there are ina dollar; if he don't, ho' 9 pretty suro to bequeath that privilege his 'widdow. When a man asks you to buy that for which you have no use, 110 matter how cheap it is, don't say yes.j until you are sure that'somc one else want-* it in advance. Money bums in some folk* pocket, and makes Mich a big bole that everything that is put in drop* through—pa»t holding. ' Tatscivj I'aovibLXcc. —At a r-> c«ut tire at Kail K:«er. tar.. IrUh '.a b>>r«-r* *l;i> bad twhjv«s) p 'wt!; a af!r-W|4ing To tbr €■> • r"*. • ere (Mfta in a «bsifrf >aa a act . Mae rtf b •.» Ml wmd *»aat m artwrb -We* » -* «eae«A*s WCuwai a* *+t - -aa T «■# oaJ awr» «M«--» tmmm *f flaa mm Oae* I ** wm - 9hn «Hp*»<Har wMac *■ ha» a«»"W' aaa MaaaaM la ' •* - aaafe. oaat mm> a» aa %aaaassw la **aaaa®»w ''at *Naartaaaa» aawi aa^ 1 * aflfcaaaa **» *a» ~ mmmmm r ;aa -a* aa* MM* Mfe ■ HMHIMP 1 A COURT SCENE. —"William, look ! Tell us, Willt&m, who made you ?" William, who was considered n fool, screwed up his face, looked thoughtful, and somewhat bewil dered, replied: " Moses, I s'spose." 44 That will do," said Counsellor Orey, and addressing tho court — 44 The witness savs lie supposes M oses made him. That is an intel ligent answer, and more than I thought him capable of giving, for it shows that he has some faint idea of Scripture. I submit that it is not sutlicient for him to be sworn as a witness, capable of giving evidence." 44 Mr. Judge," said tho fool, " may I ax the lawyer a question ?" " Certainly," said the Judge. " Well, then, Mr. Lawyer, who d'ye s'pose made you ?" 44 Aaron, I s'pose," said Counsel lor Grey, imitating the witness. After the mirth had somewhat subsided, the witness drawled out: 44 Wall, now, wo do read in tho book that Aaron OIICO made a calf, but who'd thought the darned critter had got in here if" The J iiiigc ordered the man to be sworu. Ax K\«iU«a N<»»tEa**'a SNUT.— j S >m<* i«k-4 of an Kngiiab dnke'aea- UIU- iu.l} IK iiai abea we Mate that rh- eafsMi-biaent of tbe Dake of !» a>a!<l «miyy ooe a( oar ■ ■■* TW paik traatedi «ar*~ tW piac.- pataiai ■ TW i<n»- eari«*» feW I Mr SiMH AM «r • m 10* ** 4 W' Hvwf 4MB k « wmmm wr«r -""n <mm # Hi—i vm m & m if 4MP* * 4iH §Mi i» m 1 9b MMttt '4|MiHV inmbt «M» *» **» MM «# waar - •«■ m< m ••! to .pavtf » "*• *~m. wXM-mr mm I M ■ ipifT I to M> I l«li • .t* l-atf ato frtdbS a liknit. M.-' afi«-r a «Li.<r »tx - U lot t* t . S*. j." w I."" Ye*.' • »!«f. a lixiiD >4 b*T far*. Y«»0 fli3' <k |t u<i k|vtl It I •• I■ !.»rv! glt\ "" *ci I. " I mirct hollt-r >al, or II! opw. Hoo rav, hooray ! I can jump over a ten rjle fence. 1 »-a»i do anything a feU low coil!il, would, or orter do.'* With that I sorter sloshed my self down by her and clinched the bargain with a kiss—talk about yer sugar —talk about yer melasses—» talk about nite blooming serious—* they wan't no whar; you couldn't have got ineto have come nigh'em, they would have tasted sour artef that. Oh, broomstraw with sorghum lasses on 'em ! ef Sals daddy hadn't bawled out" it's time for all honest folks to be in bed." Ido believe I'd staid all nite. You'd orter seed mo when I gat hum; I pulled dad out of bed and hugged him; I pulled mam out of bed and hugged her; I pulled aunt Jano auter bed and hugged her ; 1 pulled the nigger ser vant outer bed and hugged her. "Dad," sez I? "I'm going for to get married." " Married !" bawled dad. " Married," squalled mam.' " Yes get married," sez I, "married all over; jined in v/cdlock ; hooked on for worser or better for lite and for death, to Sal; lam that very think. Porter Sporum Esq." With that I up and told them from Alpher to Omcgan. They were mighty pleased and mightly williti, nud wo (N. 8., I mean Sal aud I)was spliced. jg@?* Ilcnry Ward Beecher, in 1»9 second letter, snys: " Either the advantanges of Uiiiort are fallacious or the continuous ex* elusion of ths South from it will breed disorder, make the future re union more difficult, and especially subject the freedmen to the very worst conditions of society which can well exist. No army, no Govern ment, and no earthly power can com' pel the South to treat four milliona of men justly if the inhabitants, whether rightly of wrongly, regard these men as tlio cause, or even the occasion, of and di« j frauchisement. But no army, or Gov ernment, or power will be required when Southern society is occupied and prospering in the re newed Union. Then the negro will be felt to be necessary to Southern industry, and interest will join with conscience and Icindnes3s in securing for him favorable treatment from his fellow-citizens. We that live at a distance may think that the aocial reconduction involved in the eman cipation of four milliou slaves * aa simple and as easy as it is to di*- coor* abont it ; bat snch a change is itself one ot the most trv iu i niana te*U to wh»eh eoeeetr can V tnd its (■><**• We irw-ae ** *brmmtair* mmrm * W far M**rnm<w T vmmm* * mm*- "Wf <m**