Newspaper of The Washington Standard, April 26, 1873, Page 1

Newspaper of The Washington Standard dated April 26, 1873 Page 1
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Washington .SB Staniiorli. VOL. XIII--NO. 25. Srt'iushmjtatt Inn tod. IS USURP mil BATVIIDAT HOBMSO BY JOHN MILLER MURPHY, - *Ol TOR AND PROPRIETOR. •ab>ci'lptlon Rata* i annum 00 " six months a 00 Adni}tdnc Hate* i One square, one Insertion S£ Each additional iasortlon J tkuiiMi cards, per quarter 5 00 annum 15 00 ITT" A lilwral deduction will be made In fa vor of those who advertise four squares,'or upwards, by the year. * By Legal notices will "be charged to tho at tofiicy or officer authorizing their insertion. tjy Advertisements sent from a distance and transient notices, nmi* bo accompanied by tits cash. 'oy Announcements of births, marriages and deaths, inserted free of chargo. Dy Obituary notices, or " ed to marriages or deaths, will l>c charged one-halt'our regular advertising rates. Wo will not hereafter deviate from this rule. TfK nisnk*. Billhpnd*. Curtis, Catalogues, Cirtvilurs. llill* of Faro, l'o.ttfws, Pamphlets 4c., printed ut reasonable rotes OrncE—Corner of Second and Washington B:rect.-«. OBSERVATIONS OF AN OLD MAN. I have noticed that all men are lion e-it when well watched. I have noticed that purses will hold pennies as well as po.unds. I have noticed that merit is always measured in the world by its success. I have noticed that iu nearly all things money is the main object in view. I havo noticed that in order to bo a reasonable creature it is necessary at times to be downright mad. I have noticod that some men are so honest that necessity compels them iu the end to be dishonest. I have noticed that silks, broadcloths and jewels are purchased with other people B money. I have noticed that whatever is, is right, with a few exceptions—the left eye, the left leg, ard tho. left sido of a plum pudding. I havo noticed that ho who thinks every man \roguo is very certain to ROC one when 'ho shaves himself, and he ought, in mercy to his neighbors to surrender the rascal to justice. I have noticed that money istiie fool's wisdom, the knave's reputation, the poor man's desire, the covetous man's ambition, and the idol of all. I have noticed that nil men speak well of all men's virtues when they are dead, nnd that tombstones nre marked with epitaphs of the good and virtuous. Is there any particular cemetery where the lxtd men are buried ? A DINSKU EXCUSE. Apologies for SK>r dinners nre generally out of placo. Nt wlwsn n lady has a forgetful lius- Imnd, who, without warning, briugs home n dozen gnests to sit down to a plain family dinner for three or four, it is not in hunt m nature to keep abso lute silence. What, to say, and how to Kay it form the problem. Mrs. Tucker, the wife of Judge Tucker, of Williams burg, solved tlvo problem many years ago. She was the daughter of Sir Pey ton Skip with, and celebrated for her bauity, wit, ease and grace of manner. Hor temper and tact were put to the proof one court-day, when the judge Brought with him the Accustomed half More or more of lawyers, for whom not the slightest preparation had been made, the judge having quite forgotten to remind bis wife that it was conrt day, and she hersfetf, strange to tell, having overlooked the fact. The dinner was served with elegance, and Mrs. T. made herself very charm ing. Upon rising to leave the guests to their wine she said: " Gentlemen, you have dined to-day with Judge Tueker; promise me now that you will dine to-morrow with me." This was all her apology, whereupon the gentlemen swore that such a wife was beyond price. The Judge then ex plained the situation, and the next day there was a noble btfhquet. Moral—Never worry a guest with apologies. QUITE A CONTRAST. —Some indiscreet antiquarian has dug up the following extract from an inaugural address de livered eighty-four rears ago: "To the preceding observations t hnre one to add, which will be most properly ad dressed to the House of Representatives. It concerns myself and will therefore be as brief as possible. When I was first honored with a call into the service of my eountry, then rtn the eve of an ar duous struggle for its liberties, the light in whioh I contemplated my duty required that T should renounce every pecuniary compensation. Prom this resolution I have lit no instaiteelfepart ; «d; and still tmdec the iaptes sio* WMeh ptoda«9d it, I must dedW as mappHeabie to ItarWf, any share in. perswnnj which may be, indispensably included in a permanent - previa op fevs. -tl'p Kxeoutive Depart ment." This does not correspond very well with Grant's rccont blowing of ku own trumpet, but if the comparison be odious, so much the worse—our radical friends would say—for Washington. DWVOTtD TO NEWS, POLITIC*, TBB OUKWNATIOK OV fHfOt IMVOMUIMM AND til PIOMOTION Of MB BUT INTBBBSTR OV VUIOXOTOJI TBMMTOBT. OLYMPIA, WASHINGTON TERRITORY, SATURDAY MORNING; APRIL 26, 1873. • hkaVUX. Light darkness, Gain after loss. .Strength HfW suffering, Crown after cross, Swml alter Utter, after sigh. Home alter wandering. Praise after cry. Sheaves after sowing, Hun after rain, Sight after mystery, Peace after pain, Joy after Borrow, Calm after blast. Rest after weerlposa, BMt real at last. Near after distant , (ilium after gloom. Love niter loneliness. I.iff beyond tho tomb. After long agony Kapture ot bliss 1 Right was tho pnthwnv Leading to thin. REAPING. We shape our selves the Joy or four Of whiahf'thc coming life in made. And till our future's atmosphere With sunshine or with shade. The tissue of the life to bo. We weave with colors all our'own, And in the Held of destiny ~ We reap as we have sown.—HViiftinr. A LEGEND OF FOO-OHOW FOO. In the maritime city of Foo-Cboo-Foo lived thriftly Man Lee nnd Lis wife, Win Loo, with life nnd encli otlier con tented. One fair little girl, who was christened Wee Fung by her wealthy old sponsor, the merchant Woo Sung, the marital bond had ccnfented. On her they bestowed nil the good* of the day that books could impart or professors convey; they taught her to sing and they taught her to play; they taught her to dance and they taught her to croquet; to her slightest desires they could never say '' nay"— Iu short, she had everything in the way of a liberal education. Her feet were compressed in the smallest of shoes; her face was a marvel of delicate hue 3; her name was a toast which no one could refuse, and she became with the local muse the regular inspiration. And thus in learning and wit she grew, the belle nnd the beauty of Foo ( how-Foo; until in her thirteenth year, when papa Man Lee thought it prudent that lie should get her n husband when ever ho could see the right kind of n. lover appear. Of course she had suitors young and old; some for herself and somo for her gold, which they supposed they would inherit: and some brought rich presents to forward their suit, of jewels nnd sat- eoufections nnd fruit, and splendid conveyances bearing their loot; while others,came modestly trudging afoot, with nothing to urge but their merit. ' Along with the rest of the love-smit ten throng, was an amorous younsr fellow whose name was Ah Pong—n poor little tailor's apprentice. What hope he could possibly entertain against the rich gallants she had in hor train, would seem a most difficult task to ex plain—unless, like some others who foil deep in love, his very audacity tend ed to prove thnt he was not quite coni /*>* mentis. But love IB not easily turned aside, when the prize to be gained is an opu lent bride, with a figure of faultless perfection; and, in spite of the barriers that well might appal a heart that loved less or loved not at all, he gained the young ladies' affection. Of course it will readily be inferred what a terrible scene it was that occurred AS soon as the girl's proud parents heard that she was in love with a tailor. The mother did weep, and the father he swore that if ever she spoke to the wretch any more, he would have her confined to her room, and the door con signed to the charge of a jailer. And poor little Fung, who could see nothing wrong in giving her heart to the gallant young Pong, almost made herself sick, dying all the day long and bewailing her innocent passion. And when the young man would hare pleaded his rait with her pa, ha received a moat shocking salute from the vigor ous toe of the Man Lee boot, in a most unmanly fashion. But in spite of most vigilant watch fulness, the lover* had many a stolen caress, and this was the promise be gave her: He would hasten away to some far-distant land, get rich, fad come bach; and demand her hand, and prove himself worthy to have her. A thousand leagues o * the great blue sea, Pong heard of the land of the great Yan Kee—a country of marvelous riches; and thither, in one of flkt great steamships—her form i» his iMmrt he* name op his lips—sailed the poor de spised patoher of breeches. In Che great Yankee land Pong tried a new trade, and such was his skill and the progress he made in the new way of life he had chosen, he soon became head of the " firm" Pong k Ling, who washed linen and things things at so much per piece or per dozen I llMMMney eame into the till very I slow and Pong & Ling's Co. bad to wash very low, on account of the great competition; but sorely, though slowly the little "pile".grew; his hope was still strong, and his courage still true, to the one great absorbing ambition. Thus acting obscurely his own little part, 'mid scom and contumely that cut to his heart; enduring likewise, not a few pieces at the hands of the cruel aud barbarous hordes who inhabit the lund, with no end of hard words, for the sake of the precious spondulick. And cheerfully toiling from morning till night, he heeded not time, except as in its flight it bore him still near his desires. At last he " sold out" of the laundry concern, and made prepar eratious once more to return to the land of his love and his sires. His passage secure and his plans all complete, Pong rfbowed his way through the crowds on the street toward the steamer, equipped for the ocean— when, hark! a sweet voice from the regions above, fell soft on his car, like the accents of love, and thrilled him with tender emotion. One glance at the window, one bound on the chair, and almost before the fair Fung was aware, she was locked in the arms of her lover. What rapturous gladness beamed out of their eyes, as they wept with each other in joyful surprise their troubles all over! And sad was the tale, and the pic ture she drew of the life they had led her at Foo-Chow-Foo—full of infinite peril and danger; and how she was kid napped and dragged to the slip, and thrust in the hold of a big Yankee ship, and borne to the land of the stranger. But little she dreampt, as she fretted and pined in the horrible dungeon whore she was confined, with the great billows thundering o'er her, as she thought of the loved ones they left be hind, and the infamous life to which 6he was confined, of the joy that was waiting before her. *** ******** In the beautiful "city of Foo-Chow- Foo, where flowers perennial, of every hue, their odors eternal are blending, live the beautiful Fung and the faithful Ah Pong; and a sweet little cherub chirps all day long, giving„proof that their love is unending. THE TEV Wonns.—The Jews call the Ten Commandments by the name of " The Decalogue," which signifies. " the Ten words." As the precepts can not be learned in too many ways, we give the substance of them in ten lines, poetically arranged, which will help the memory to recollect them in full: 1. lam the Lord thy God—serve only me; 2. Before no image bow thy impioi knee. 3. Use not My name in trifles, or in jest; 4. Dare not profane My Bacred day of rest. 5. Ever to parents due obedience pa}'; 6. Thy fellow-creature, man, thou shalt not slay; 6. In no licentious conduct bear a part; 8. From stealing keep with care thy hands and heart; 9. All reports against thy neigh bor hate; 10. And ne'er indulge a wish for his estate. IMPOSTAKT DATES. —The following wiJl refresh the minds of our readers as to the dates of the important inventions. discoveries*and improvements, the ad vantages of which we now enjoy: Spinning wheel invented in 1330. Paper first made from rags in 1417. Muskets invented and first used in England in 1421. Pumps invented in 142 a. Printing invented by Faust in 1441. Engraving on wood invented in 1490. PtMt-ofiees esfa'.l&hed in England in 1464. Almanneffflißtprtblfohcd in 1441. Violins invented in 1477. Hatebets first made in 1504. Punctuation first )\#t£ t*. literature in 1520. Beforethattimewordsandsenteneeswe relikethis. fST Franee imported 100,000 pounds of human hair from- Japan last yeaf.• LITE IN THE TROPICS. The idea generally entertained of the tropics is they are Eden-like re gions abounding in the most brilliant flowers, the most magnificent birds, as well as Uie most varied and abundant animal life. Tacompare them with the

temperate regions in these particulars, to declare that the temperate zones are in fact, the true lands of floral and an imal abundance, would have sounded to our ancestors like the language of madmen. Yet the voice of modern dis covery has dispelled this idea as it has destroyed a dozen other strongholds of ancient belief. We are now assured that there is no special abundance of flowers in the tropica. Wallace tells us that equato rial landscapes are marked by fine foli age and by rarity of flowers. The large und magnificent flowers which we know to be of tropical, origin are rare, and are gathered from widely-separated dis tricts. The short period of bloom usual in these regions also causes a paucity of floral adornment, and as a rule temper ate landscapes far exceed tropical in v£ riety and abundance of flowers. Ihe same may lie said in regard tp bird aiid animal life, the tropics in this particular also falling far below the temperates. • ' • Strain wandered for weeks through the woods of Central America without seeing an animal, and rarely a bird, and AS far as he can judge, the rivers con tain no fish. Even the frigid zoucs appear to sur pass the tropics in this respect. Thus, in Alaska animal life is abundant in Summer, and the rivers swarm with fish; the white hare the moose and bea ver abound. The Kamtachatdales have thousands of reindeer, and as a rule the short Summer of the extreme north is marked by animal abundance. So in regard to the song of birds. It is almost entirely a temperate phenom enon. Song is indeed rather an ex ceptional feature than an attribute of birds. The singers jure comparatively few, and those few dwell chiefly outside the tropics. Why these few sweet voiced tribes have been so far favored above their cotemporaries is one of the questions in natural science which yet await a solution. Yet in the tropica are found the largest aud fiercest beasts, the most poisonous reptiles and insects, the most brilliant birds and flowers. This car nivorous fierceness may be one princi pal reason of the paucity of as it needs a wide district to support each of these rapacious animals. So there may be A lack of the food necessary to support other more gentle creatures. We have an instance of this in the temperate zones in the absence of bird life in the pine forests. The great woods of Russia are strangely si lent from this cause, the pines seem ing incapable of sustaining the smaller animals. The character of life in the tropics is in remarkable accordance with the in tensity of solar light und heat to which they are subjected. The fire of the sun seems to impart fierceness to the animals, its rich, hues to give intense brilliance to birds and flowers, its pro duction of malaria to fill with venom the insects and reptiles. The equatorial regions are thus truly the lands of the sun, whose warmth and brilliance is typified throughout the tropics in a thousand symbols, even the human race there gaining an impulsive and passionate character which is for eign to the cooler yet more enduring dwellers within the temperate aones. THE IMPERIAL FAMILY. —It is again that General Grant, encouraged by the supintmess of the American people last Fall, is making arrangements for a third term, aud in even dreaming of a life tenure of his office. That he consid ers the presidency a right, not a trust, is evidcut from tho cool and audacious way in which he is parceling the offices out amon<; his relations. It was less than a year ago that he reappointed his father, a person incompetent from tem per and extreme age to perform the functions, to the postmastership of Cov ington, Kentucky. The other duy, he sent to the Senate the name of the no toriously corrupt Casey for the Naw, Orleans Collectorship. Cramer is con tinued as Minister to Denmark , Hudson ! as Minister to Guatemala and Shape as Marshal of the District of Columbia— relatives all. But bis contempt for the people is still more pointed in the pro motion of his spn to a lieutenant ool onency over the heads of a hundred: more meritorious officers. Thus the ; relatives are being gradually fashioned ' into an imperial family. RP An lowa clergyman's moral in sanity takes tbeform of stealing Bibles, of which he ban presented numerous elegantly bound copies to favored mem bers of his flock. 537 An ingenious Yankee seamstress i makes a squirrel, in his revoivingcage," turn her sewing machine. Forty ocean steamers have been lost in the Pacific waters sinoe the American occupation of California. AV AMERICAN OOMEDY. Scene I.—Hail route on the plains. Captain Jack and his band of redskins discovered upsetting a Mail coach and scalping the passengers. Captain Jock (wiping the blood off his face): —Ugh! Redman like peace. Great father at Washington big ehief. Red men have white heart. Love all his brothers. Too much fight. In dians sick of blood. One-Eyed Scallawag (running a knife through a child)— Red men brothers but great father- has not sent them rifles enough. Our hearts are cold with bad whisky, but there is no lie in them. Indians love peace. Scene ll.—An Indian encampment at night. Indians discovered with their squaws sleeping. Frontiersman and soldiers seen shooting them from the timber. Yellow Stone Jack, a trapper (bring ing down a squaw with his rifle: There aren't no reason in the world why this ere continent ain't big enough for In dians and white men too. All these things can be settled by a powwow, without sheddilf blood. Hairy Jim (braining a pappoose): There ain't but one way to fix it—that's to have a new Peace Commission. There ain't been any this month. That's what's the matter. Lieutenant in charge (issuing orders to burn up the lodges and the remain der of the children): That's true, tpen. I'm sick of this work. After we have killed the rest of the woman' and chil dren I shall insist on a talk. These savages must be made to understand that a powerful government is not ac tuated by feelings of revenge. Scene lll.—Grand powwow on the plains. Captain Jack (with seventeen white scalps in his girdle): Indian glad to meet white warrior. ludinn never seek white man's blood. Bad Indians drink bad whiskj- and kill. Captain Jack an gry with bad Indians. Uoorl Indian's heart are full of love. . Captain Jack cry like a squaw to see white man killed. heart 01 the white man and the great father at Washington to hear such no ble words from his red children. War and bloodshed are not his desire, and he sends fresh buttons and needle guns and revolvers and powder and scalping knives to his children as a peace offer ing. Scene IV.—Grand Tableau —Peace Commissioner seen lying stiff in a slough with one of the great father's knives thrust into his heart, and Captain Jack and his squaws piled up in the road with their throats cut. Grand Transformation Scene—" Let there be peace 1" yy The king of Bavaria's new sleigh lias seats supported by caTved nymph's naiads, or walkyries; and the panels are most chastely painted, engraved, and inlaid by the court artist, Herr von Pechmanu. The seats and footboards are of heavily gold-embroidered blue ▼elvet, as are the harness aud horse blankets. Everything is shining with gold, even the poles being gilt—every metallic piece in the sleigh and harness being either of solid gold or strongly plated, so as to be rust-proof. The rugs are of the most costly ermine, with cliancelieres to match. The sleigh is to be driven four in-hand, and has been sent to the Chateau of Hohen-Schwan gau, a beautiful little castle erected on a crag standing at the foot of the brand shouldered " Sailing" mountain. In this manor, which was built .for hip fa ther, Maximilian 11, while the flatter was traveling in the East, all the fur niture is made from cedar, which the then Crown Prince Maximilian is said to have bought on the Lebanon. Here Louis 11. spends his Christmas, and tries the riding aualitics of his gorgeous sleigh, which cost no less sum than 1100,000. jy Miss Kitty daughter of Dr. loves her father, aud takes an in terest in his profession. The other day a lady friend called to see her, and asked how she was, and how she was getting along. "Oh pretty well," said Miss Kitty, " plenty of colds, some bronchitis,* and a little typhus fever, but, as papa said yesterdav, to make things lively, what we need is a little epidemic. jy With a salary twice as any other President received General Grant can now afford to pay the express charges on all the Cleveland! pups that •may be sent him. MiT The old rhinoceros of the Zooloy ical Gardens of (ondon.lias been a Ci goner *bere tvAmty»tw<r years, bat enjova it and-is fat. yy Robert E. Lee, Jr., son of the late confederate general, is likely to be the next Democratic candidate for Gov erns?-*#! Virginia. ty The bank of England* has just pnt up a clock with fifty dials'to'it; and increased its force of clerks tot 900. WHOLE m 050. AIRGUIB. Probably- the moat perfect air goad in the world are ikon made In for the use of English potdiiri. As they make no ■moke, and, consequently no smell, they are not eo easily detect-' ed ns firearms when need in game pre serves. is a mistake, however, to suppose that they mqjn no noiae. \V hen charged eo as to produce the ef fects above described, the report h' pToaoe«a uy gßSpß%3er. tTßfti tightly charged, the report is, of eonree, di minished; but the force with which the bullet is projected is also proportional ly lessened, and so is <Le recoil. As a weapon for secret assassination, the air gun does not possess much advan tage over a good ride cane. Few per sons are, however, aware<of -the alight charge of powder or air that is neces sary to produce a fatal wound at abort distances. Experience tenches us thai * ballet that will go through a half-inch beard will kill a>maa if it strikea him ita a fatal and not too well proteoted part. Now a bullet can be projected from a rifle from a force sufficient to pierce such a board at twelve paces, by means of a charge of powder not greater than that which will lie on a silver three cent piece; and, provided the charge be ignited quietly, as by a pill lock, the noise of the explosion will not attract the attention of persons who are sixty yards distant. The small pistol* in common use make very little noise, ex cept when discharged in confined places; and, yet, if the ball should strike a vital part, death may be caased instantaneously by a wound from them. The only advantages poseased by the air gun are its -perfect cleanliness, and the fact that the parts are not liable to be corroded and rusted. It never re quires cleaning, but the labor of charg ing the condenser n*r. fairly offset against the labor involved in cleaning 'ordinary firearms after they have been U3ed. CHOKING. —AII that we eat or drink passes^over "the top of the windpipe without a particle ever entering it, al though the opening is large as a dime, because the very aet of swallowing draws over the open top of it a fleshy trap-door which fits so closely that not ev«n a particle of air can pass; but at the instant of swallowing, it opens up with a spring, and we go on breathing as if nothing had happened. Bat if we attempt*to swallow anything too large this trap-door, being at the narrowest part of the passage, is kept closed, not a particle of air can enter the lungs, and we die in a moment of soffioation, as in drowning or smothering. Most readers hare saffere(lnconsider able inconvenience from something " going the wrong way." This is occa sioned by a single drop of water or atom of solid food, a crumb or other thing/ slipping into the windpipe or down to the lungs, causing an instaiita-' neous, spiteful, angry, dry coogh; it is because nature was alarmed by an un-. natural and unwelcome \iqitor, end takes this her only means of ejecting the intruder. If the particles are large or heavy, the surgeon must be called to cut open the windpipe and remove the' substance. A person cannot laugh oh speak a word unless the top of the windpipe is uncovered; but if a laugh is provoked or a word attempted to be spoken while in the act of swallowing, and-jhst before ' the particle has folly passed the trap door, it is raised a little, a drop or a crumb falls into it, and h<BM we w*- chief. In eating,-do not attempt to" speak until the swallowing is done.- Illustrating the necessity of clean liness and of keeping the pores-of the akin open, a recent wriier on health asserts positively that if • coat of var-' iiish or other substance impervious to' moistnre'be applied to the exterior of the body, death will ensue in about six hours. The experiment was.at one time tried upon a child in Florence/ On the occasion of Pope Leo the Tenth's' accession {p the Paral Chair, it waS'de" Rirod to have a living figure represent-" the Golden Age, abd so'a dhild gilded nil over with vanish' and gold* leaf. The child died in n few hours.' If the fur of a rabbit or. the akin of a' be coveted with'a dotation of india rubber fn naptha, theTatitmtt ceases to* breathe in a few hours. 1 ' C? Among the A 1 lived a rOUgh specimen' 6t a' farmer; well-to-do as it goes with his put seldom seenat ahurch. X.tSiif minister came into the piaae, and, in* calling apqng the peopb. happened one davTo csaolt Uncle Luther just at diuner-tiriW. 'jjh'ni' invited to' coaac iny and 'itoxrif the' table,' to " hiteh up ehair." When th«sv were 111 seated, Uptele Luther mhil him under the table', and said:" 3®wr touch her Jiff; jMuvW.' Bad he, been about the world Ma 4 ,- ha' would . hardly h&vvtaaen that lot aa iaVitatioa to say grace. ' • W- Colfax in the «wi pr**idin«g«- cer of the Senate who has nIM w#h out a vote of thanks from' that Mijr.-

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